The perfect manThe other night I was at a friend’s party, and I got chatting to this woman. She was quite bubbly, and we were having a great conversation for a while. We ended up talking about life, love, and everything else. She’s in her late 30’s, she told me wants to get married, and she wants to have children. She’s very definite about her desires and that’s a great thing.

I always talk about how important it is to understand what you want from life. She knows what she wants, and she isn’t afraid to communicate it. Trouble is, she’s not mastered the art of listening to men and understanding what men want. I told her I have an amazing child, and that I have no interest in having another one. I even admitted having a vasectomy three years ago, that’s how strong I feel about not having another kid. So we’re talking and flirting. We were having a fun night, but her needs, wants, and desires are very different from mine, so I know it’s not going anywhere. All of a sudden, her womanliness kicked in.

She looks at me and says, “God, would you get that vasectomy reversed?”

Really?

At any point in this conversation, did I mention I want the vasectomy reversed?

I already told her how much I love and adore my child, and that I don’t want another one. I explained the type of work I do, and the lifestyle I have. I explained everything to her, but as she’d become more attracted to me over the course of the night, she wanted me to fit the mold of what she was looking for.

Instead of listening to what I desire as a man, she starting painting the future the way SHE wanted it in her mind. We were going to be together. I was going to reverse my vasectomy, and we were going to have a child. That’s amazing isn’t it? I was so stunned by the way she was talking, and it made me realize that some people get so caught up with their own desires, they stop listening to what the other person is saying.

I understand it’s exciting when you meet a man you really connect with, and it’s great when you can talk about things on a very deep level. I enjoyed talking to her, and she was an attractive woman. The second I knew our dreams and desires were mismatched I just enjoyed the conversation, as two people should. She obviously took it somewhere else, despite what I’d told her I wanted (or didn’t want) from life.   

You need to listen to what men say, and you need to accept what we tell you our desires are. Men are very black and white. Most strong, confident guys will tell you what they want up front so there’s no guessing. You need to listen to what we say, and not force your own dreams and desires on us. There are plenty of men out there who would love to have a relationship with this woman. She needs to go out there and find one, rather than trying to change every man she meets into her perfect man.

That’s the lesson for today. Listen to what men tell you they want, and don’t try to change them. The more you listen, the easier it’s going to be for you to meet someone great.