Married People Have No Clue!!
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Who Gives The Worst Dating Advice?
By David Wygant
Besides some of the people who are on online dating sites, who gives the worst dating advice? Let me think for a second . . .
I know a lot of you are thinking that this is me taking the opportunity to rip my competition, but I am not going to rip my competition here because I think some of them actually give decent dating advice.
Do you know who really gives the worst dating advice? Married people . . . especially the ones who have been married since they were twelve. Okay, maybe not twelve. Maybe they met their future spouse when they were seventeen.
Really, though, the only thing a married person knows is how monotonous sex can be with someone over a long period of time. Oh c’mon now . . . I know some of you still have a robust sex life. In reality, though, most of you are not humping the nights away.
Now I know I’ve opened up a nice can of worms with this one. I can feel the hair on the back of your necks starting to grow. By the way, guys, if you have hair growing on your back . . . wax it! Women really don’t want to date the GEICO caveman.
So let’s get back to the point of the blog. The point of the blog has nothing to do with hair, nor is it about married people’s bad sex life.
It is about the shitty advice that married people give their single friends. The dating world is changing every day.
It’s funny. I was at a party one night, and this married yenta started talking about the benefits of online dating. I looked at her and asked her “How long have you been married?” She said “Seventeen years.”
So me being me, I said “The Internet wasn’t even around when you were dating. Hell, we still had answering machines. We still had phones with metal antennas coming out of them. What do you know about online dating?”
Now, she had no idea what I do for a living. Let’s just say I was about to have some fun.
“A friend of mine met her husband on the Internet.” she continued. So then I started laughing and said “And that’s what makes you an expert in online dating?!” She said “Yes! I heard it works.”
I then told her “You know, Metamucil works also. It’s good for people who are full of shit!” She started laughing, and then asked me what I do for a living. I told her that I teach people how to make the most of their dating life.
So she starts screaming and brings over all the other married yentas in the room. For the next hour and a half, in a very nice Jewish fashion, they tried to set me up.
Then they all admitted that they really know nothing about dating. They just like to stick their nose in other people’s business.
So the moral of this story is this: If you are not out there dating, and you have not been dating since the first Bush mistake in 2000, then butt out of people’s business. Your friends don’t need your outdated bad advice.
When you go car shopping, you don’t ask a friend who always gets the worst lease deal to help you. When you do your taxes, you don’t go to the accountant who caused all his clients to be audited last year.
So why would you go to your married friend who’s not happily married in their life for your dating advice? It’s like going to Matt Millen for draft day advice.
So if you are confused in your dating life, I suggest you go to a non-biased person who can guide you in your dating life. Perhaps to someone who has a black Labrador Retriever named Daphne? Maybe to the person who wrote this blog? Might this be the better person to go to for dating advice?
Here’s my question to all of you: Who do you usually go to for dating advice besides me . . . and who has given you the worst dating advice you’ve ever heard?
Todays powerful video is all about teasing women. Enjoy!!
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