make time for datingI get emails all the time from women telling me how you want to date. How you want to meet somebody. How you’re on an online dating site and there are no good men out there. But there’s an epidemic going on, and I’m calling you out on it.  A good friend of mine decided that he was going to date this year, put himself back on the market.

He’s tall, he’s good looking. He’s in his 40s.  He decided to go on a couple of online dating sites. He went on OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and Hinge. He’s a good writer for a man. Successful, and well spoken. No real baggage. Never been married before. No kids. Nothing. He also reads profiles. Rare, I would say, in today’s day in age.

When he writes emails to a woman on an online dating site, he quotes something in her profile. He’s actually interested in getting to know who they are. He’s got follow-up skills.  Everything women are always asking for. When he gets a phone number, he’ll actually text a woman that same day and say, “Hey, are you free? Let’s have a quick call to see if we connect.”

He’s doing everything. Yet, you women are just giving him a hard time. You say you want to date, but you make no time for it.  He was telling me about this woman that he emailed. Everything was great, and it took a week to get on a call with her. A week to have a six minute phone call. That’s ridiculous. If you really want to date as you say you do, then you need to start putting in the time.

Look, I know dating is work. I know dating, there’s definitely a lot of disappointments. But if a guy is doing everything he’s supposed to do, carve the time. If he texts you, text him back. What I love about the new iPhone is it says “Read.”

So now he knows if you even read his text. But don’t take three days to get back to him. You’re not that busy. If you’re on an online dating site, and if you’re out there meeting people, then you have to make it a priority to have a good five or ten minute phone conversation with somebody. If a guy calls you, call him back right away. If a guy texts you, text him back.

Set it up. Work with the flow. Dating is all about momentum. It’s crazy when you can’t continue the momentum. So I’m calling you out. I think you want to date, but you have to open your heart and put in the time. Otherwise it’s just noise.