1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.
I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.
Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.
Great video ! David is in good shape...
The ego: well, in my experience, the bigger the ego, the lesser the chance of success. I often meet people who tell me they are so good at something, good with computers, good with women, that they have great social skills. I instantly know that they suck at the very thing they think they are good at. It is their ego, looking for validation. People who are really good at something never ever brag about it. They just do their thing, and it shows.
I think it is a trick used frequently by employers during job interviews: they ask you what your strong points are, and by asking that, they immediately know your weaknesses. That is most often the reason why you didn't get the job, despite your perfect presentation - of your ego.
Hans
I interview and hire people, so there’s a subtle difference between being confident and egotistical, but it sometimes ok to be egoistical when you can back it up with a proven track record and reliable references. I’m not trying to ‘trick’ a potential candidate when conducting an interview at all. There are many methods to qualify an applicant to determine whether or not they’re suitable for the position. Trickery is not one them. Although I can’t speak for others who may make use of unprofessional methods.
In my experience ego can be an asset to success in many area’s life up to a point. It should be balanced with humility, authenticity, generosity and respect. You can be extremely good at something and confident without being arrogant. I can assure you that I am very good at computers, meeting woman, and have great social skills. I truly enjoy reading David’s blog because he’s really about helping people ultimately become better individuals and not just better PUA’s. He provides insight to our motives which leads to introspection and self awareness and a more enlightened understanding of our behaviors psychologically. Which leads to positive change for those who are sincerely seeking help or personal growth.
And those who frequently comment provide so much additional helpful content and perspective which mostly supports the learning, growing process. I’ve been reading the blog for a couple of years now and have been witness to so much personal growth from so many regular contributors. Although, I don’t know anyone personally and rarely ever comment myself, many regulars almost seem like friends. Especially John, Bob, Melissa, Natalie and Techno, they’re awesome. And John has really earned my admiration and respect because he’s really changed and grown over time in so many subtle ways that speak volumes to the quality of his character. And he’s funny as hell sometimes. Bob will make you man up or should I say Cowboy up and tells it like it is. And Melissa and Natalie offer tremendous insight from a female perspective. They’re my favorites. I would date Melissa if she moved to Florida She probably one of the most intelligent authentic honest woman around. I truly hope a real man finds her and I’m sure it will happen one day soon. She’s the real deal and would be a great catch. Natalie’s a little softer and maybe sweeter and she speaks from her heart. I respect her opinions. Techno provide me with insight from another perspective that makes me see things from a different viewpoint.
Personally, I don’t need or seek validation, but it is nice when I receive sincere compliments from others, which I accept with kindness and gratitude by simply saying “thank you”. I think David blogged about that recently. Neither do I envy others success, rather I admire it and try to learn from it, so I have something positive to take away and hopefully one day share with others. Anyway, I just thought I’d throw in my humble opinion for a change. Thanks David for all you do.
I was going to chime in on egos + job interviews but looks like you beat me to it, Deon. Well said!
First of all, job interviews should be based on one thing: how well your applicant does his job.
And I think an ego actually helps on the job. A certain kind of ego, at least. My name is like a brand. If my name is on a product, that product had better drop some jaws. And if I piss off people in the process of making that great product by not coloring in between the lines, that's too bad for them. Because it's this level of personal ownership and responsibility that produces great results, as opposed to taking a submissive stance and seeing my job as following orders and pleasing people.
By the way there are at least two completely different kinds of egos. I will call them the rockstar ego and the politician ego. If you are talking about rockstar ego, I have a huge one, but I also have the smallest politician ego you have ever seen. The people who most call me out on having an ego at work typically have ENORMOUS politician egos. They are skilled at posturing themselves as if they had no ego, but actually have the most ridiculous egotisms of all. Theirs is the kind of ego that thrives not on stepping into the spotlight themselves, but on shooting others down.
But how does this apply to relationships? Let's see:
I have a huge rockstar ego, so I play by my own rules, not the arbitrary mandates of social convention, and I don't believe in sacrifice. I believe a relationship should be based not on how much you sacrifice for each other, but on how much value you add to each other's lives. Think about it: if you take the sacrificial model of relationships to its ideal, you end up with two people each spending half their life doing something they hate, and the other half dragging someone else into something they hate. No, thanks !! I would sooner join a monastery and declare my celibacy than subscribe to that kind of life.
On the other hand I have zero politician ego, so: I don't care about what my partner does when I am not around as long as it does not interfere with our ability to make time for each other. I don't care to control my partner in any way, or force them into anything she doesn't want to do. Because I don't think one person's gain should EVER come at another person's loss. I don't care how our relationship looks to others, because I strongly believe a relationship is between exactly two people. I just want someone to celebrate life with, to enjoy each other, to create a good relationship. That's all.
I just had an interesting experience regarding egos:
I met a guy who struck me as having a big ego and being really stuck up. Afterwards I found out I was dealing with somewhat of a celebrity. The reason he's on such a high horse is because this guy is arguably THE BEST IN THE WORLD at what he does (!!). Lucky for him his woman was way more down to earth and cuter than he was.
This is where I get stumped. This is what makes me feel like I am not good enough. I can't figure out the meaning or purpose of my life.
I'll get somewhat in to a lifestyle change for a short period of time and then lose interest. For instance, I went to college four different semesters, failed classes in each one, and changed my major each time.
The only things that have remained consistent are that I do my full time retail management job well and then I get home and stare at television and computer screens for several hours.
5 Comments | Join the Discussion!
Hans
Monday, June 10th, 2013
Deon
Sunday, June 16th, 2013
Technoboy
Tuesday, June 18th, 2013
Technoboy
Friday, August 2nd, 2013
Dave
Sunday, April 27th, 2014