Okay, before you get all angry…

…thinking I’m taking away one of your favorite toys—hear me out.

I’ve told women that I’ve coached to break up with their vibrator and they look at me like I’m asking them to stop playing with the greatest toy that’s ever been invented.

They act like a little kid that had their Big Wheel taken away, or their Lite-Brite taken away, or one of their favorite stuffed animals—maybe Elmo—taken away from them.

And before you think this is just a woman only thing, I tell the same thing to guys: stop the chronic masturbation, and I’m going to tell you why.

I was recently talking to a woman I’m friends with. She cannot orgasm at all by herself unless she has Mr. Vibrator doing the magic dance on her clitoris.

So, if she can’t bring herself to orgasm, a man can go down there, camp out, bring marshmallows, s’mores, and ghost stories, and not even a moan will escape her lips.

She’s too caught up in her head. She’s too vibrator dependent.

My friend’s reasoning was that vibrators are a quick, fun and painless way to orgasms.

So I looked at her and asked, “Do you masturbate with your hand?”

“No, it takes too long.”

A-ha! There it is.

How many of you desire orgasm with men, but you can’t have it when a man goes down on you, yet you can orgasm with the vibrator?

Raise your hand right now.

Okay, good.

Here’s the deal: all orgasms are built the same.  The orgasms are in your head, not in your body.  You can orgasm, but you need to teach yourself how to orgasm first.

You need to start masturbating with your hands.  You need to wean yourself off of the vibrator.  You need to get yourself wet, you need to play with yourself, and you need to explore every little inch of your vagina.

You need to know how it feels to rub your clit in a certain direction, how it feels to rub your clit fast, slow, whatever it might be.  You need to do this and experiment on a regular basis.

That way, you can enjoy sex with a man; because that’s the whole point: enjoying sex with a man.

So for those of you that are vibrator dependent, I want you to become un-vibrator dependent.  I want you to spend some good alone time: you, your fingers, your hand, and your imagination.

It’s time to create that intimacy again.  Bring the vibrator back once you’ve trained your body to orgasm in a different way.  But for now, I want you to start teaching yourself how to come.

Men everywhere applaud your efforts.