imaginary boyfriendHow many of you are in imaginary relationships? How many of you are living in a fantasy world where you’re dating the man of your dreams, yet you never actually see him?

You meet a man, usually online. Maybe you meet him at some event, and he’s from out of town. You start to email each other on a constant basis. You start to text each other every day and night. Sometimes the texts are quite naughty, and sometimes you send each other naughty pictures. There’s an amazing sexual energy between you, which normally turns into phone sex, where he tells you he can’t wait to see you and do all these amazing things to you in person.

He always sets a date, but something comes up and he can’t make it. Maybe it’s work related, or it’s just a busy time of year for him and he can’t get to you. Maybe it’s something to do with one of his kids. Do you know what’s really going on here?

You’re in an imaginary relationship. You’re having a mental affair with a man you’ll probably never ever see. The chances are this guy is already in a relationship, and that’s the real reason he’s never able to see you. Mental affairs are dangerous and I’ve seen so many women get hurt. I get emails about it all the time, and it’s always the same story. You live in Iowa, and he lives in Florida. Why isn’t he dating women in Florida? He found you on a website and he was looking for someone as lonely as him. Now he wants to have a mental affair with you, so he can get the attention he’s not getting elsewhere. Maybe he wants a relationship but he’s incapable of intimacy. Either way, you’re in a “relationship” that isn’t going anywhere.

Men do this all the time too. Men love mental affairs. Usually they’re with women in the Ukraine or the Philippines. Every day lonely people are trying to connect, but they’re always looking outside their circle. They need to find someone they can connect with but at a safe distance. You’ll normally get a lovely email from them, and he’ll be charming. But here’s the thing…

If you really want to connect with a man, or to have a relationship that stands a chance of actually going somewhere, you need to avoid men who won’t commit to seeing you, or live miles away. I don’t care how cute he is, or how amazing he makes you feel. A mental affair stands little chance of making it through the first month.

Think about it. Why would a man contact you from hundreds of miles away? It makes no sense. He’s rarely going to be able to follow through and see you, so the best you can hope for is a mental affair or a long distance relationship that ends in disaster. Today is Independence Day (Happy 4th of July to all my lovely lady readers) and I want you to celebrate your own freedom.

I want you to celebrate the fact that you’re not ever again going to be suckered into a mental affair with a man miles away from you, who you’ll never see. I want you to celebrate the fact you’ll never again waste months of your life in an imaginary relationship where the closest thing you have to intimacy is a Snapchat photo of a man’s penis. There are hundreds of men all around you, desperate to meet and date an amazing, strong, sexy woman like you. Learn to connect with them and you don’t recognize your love life. Today, I want you to ditch your imaginary man, and swap him for a real life hunk o’ love!