Why You Can’t Handle Sex

I went out with a woman-friend of mine the other night.

We were talking about a man that she’s seeing.

She looked at me and she said, “I can’t sleep with him yet.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s not that I don’t crave or desire sex…

It’s just that every time I have sex, I get all confused and I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to be confused anymore. I don’t really have time to wait and I just want to find a great man to marry.”

I looked at her and said that I understand totally.

And then I proceeded to tell her this.

“You deserve to be in love. You deserve that family, you deserve that man that honors you, and treats you like a queen.

A lot of women can’t handle the feelings they get when they have sex.

Sometimes I’ve seen women convince themselves that they are just going to have sex with a guy just to have sex just to enjoy it.

A lot of women are not wired that way. The beauty of your emotional wiring is that when you do have sex, you’re giving your soul and your heart to another person and you do get all confused. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Because you want and desire a relationship so bad you give in to your sexual urge and then it gets even fuzzy.

You feel like you’re actually in love with this person. Yet this man probably knows exactly what he wants and it’s not exactly what you want.

When you have sex with a man, you tend to then not listen to the man as closely as possible. You miss all the warning signs, and then all of a sudden the relationship comes to a screeching halt. You think to yourself, ‘I don’t understand, everything seemed perfect.’

The key phrase there is seemed perfect.

When you’re playing for keeps it’s a lot different than when you’re just experimenting.

If you’re at a stage in your life right now where you’re playing for keeps, I strongly suggest you do not sleep with a man until you know for sure that he is somebody that you can have a relationship with.

Until you process all the warning signs.

Until you have thought it through, discussed it with him and you can see exactly where he is.

You need to make sure that he’s consistent. Meaning, his words match his actions, and his actions match his words.

You need to make sure there’s no really big warning signs, warning signs that will end the relationship right after you sleep with him.

So, friend, take a better inventory when you’re playing for keeps. And you’ll find the one that you do want to keep, and that wants to keep you, too.”