listen to womenDo you want to know one of the reasons you’re stuck in the friend-zone all the time? And it’s not always about looks, or coming on too strong before the peanut gallery starts getting too animated. The difference between being an active listener or a reactive listener is the difference between seducing a woman and her putting you in the friend-zone. What do I mean?

An active listener is someone who goes to talk to a woman, and actively listens to everything she has to say. This woman actually intrigues you, because you realize whether you’re attracted to her or not, and regardless of whether she’s attracted to you, everyone you meet has a message for you that could change your life. That’s how I look at life all the time.

Everyone I talk to, everyone I meet, has the potential to teach me something I didn’t know. When I’m talking to someone, whether it’s a man, woman, or child, I’m actively listening because that person has something to say that could change my life or inspire me in some way. I also believe when you’re out every single day, all the people you run into are there for a reason. Call it destiny or whatever. I believe the universe put us in the same place for a reason and I want to engage with everyone there. I want to hear the message I’m being taught. That’s what an active listener does. He looks for clues. An active listener always wants to discover something. He’ll hang on every word the person he’s talking to is saying. That’s what real conversation is about. That’s how you engage with people on a deep level.

The Best Communicators Are The Best Listeners

A reactive listener is someone who doesn’t really listen. They’re always looking for an outcome from the conversation. They never listen to what the other person is saying, because they’re always trying to think of what to say next. As a reactive listener, you’re waiting for the person to finish their sentence so you can jump in and add your piece. You barely allow them to stop talking because you start. You need to allow people to complete their thoughts. You need to listen to every word they say, and see how it moves you. A reactive listener never actually hears anything other than potential replies running through their head. They want to react. They want to create an outcome rather than letting it happen organically.

If you’re a reactive listener, you need to change your ways quickly. You see active listener has the world at his fingertips. The active listener is going to connect with more people on a far deeper level than anyone else. Stop looking for an outcome and enjoy interacting with other people. It’s not all about getting a woman’s number. It’s about embracing the lessons and connections life is offering you.

Believe me, women are always going to be more attracted to active listeners than reactive listeners. Start thinking of yourself as a CSI investigator. Start listening for the clues life is leaving you. Watch how many women start paying you more attention, when you start paying more attention to life. Women find it hot!