Why We Love Our Excuse Time

We love our excuse time.

I’m going to give you a scary statistic, something that is going to rock your world and change the way you think about this.

A recent survey I did showed that 87% of men and women spend more time on their daily list of what needs to be done – which includes getting what they need at the grocery store – than they spend meeting somebody in an entire year.

Let’s put it this way: on average, people will spend way more time writing down all of the things they need to do and no time at all writing down things about the person they want to meet. Now how are you going to meet somebody great if you don’t write down exactly what you’re looking for? But, every single day you’ll write down that you need tuna.

Broccoli.

Cauliflower.

Spaghetti sauce.

Everyday you’ve got a to-do list with every single thing on there that you need to do:

Walk the dog.

Call your Grandma.

Write the proposal for work.

Do you realize most of us are super organized when it comes to almost everything in our lives except our dating life?

What’s Your Excuse?

In our dating life, we’re super organized with our excuses.

I want you to think about the excuses that you spend the majority of your time thinking and talking about:

There are no great men in New York.

The ratio of men to women in my town is too big.

All of the men are kind of uptight here.

There are too many married men here and not enough single men.

All the men I seem to meet don’t want to commit.

Nobody wants me because I’m over a certain age.

This list can go on and on.

Most of you prefer to live in Excuseville.

You would prefer to live in Excuseville, rather than change your outlook, your attitude. You have a story that you stick to and your story is so powerful.

You love your story about why you can’t meet somebody because let’s face it, women are amazing storytellers and you need to be able to wrap everything up in a nice little package. Blaming every single thing except yourself.

I’m not saying that to irritate you. I’m not saying that to get you angry. I’m saying that because every single time I talk to and coach one of you, you’ve got a great story about why things are not working for you. And that story usually involves blaming your situation on something else.

You’re usually blaming a man or the last two men that broke your heart or didn’t want what you want, so now you won’t open up again.

Or you’re blaming the place where you live.

You perpetuate the story and when you perpetuate the story, the story never ends.

It’s Time to Change Your Story

If you believe it and tell yourself over and over again the same story, then you will actually manifest that into your life.

If you tell yourself over and over again that there are no good men where you live, then of course that’s your consciousness. Your consciousness will believe that every single day. So you’ll spend more time telling yourself that story and that story will be validated.

Eventually you’ll meet somebody, maybe on a dating app, or you’ll meet somebody out and about, and of course he won’t pan out because he’ll fulfill whatever version of the man in the story you’ve been living.

It’s time to stop making excuses. It’s time to change your story. If you change your story, you’ll be able to change what happens when you meet somebody.

My story is never the story that Los Angeles is a terrible place to date. As a matter of fact, Los Angeles is a great place with fabulous people.

The reality of dating is that the more people you meet, the more people you connect with, the greater chance you’re going to have of finding something spectacular. But it all comes down to having the story.

The story has to be a positive story. Any negative story will only lead you to never meet anyone special because you’re telling the universe that’s what’s going to happen.

You tell the universe how bad things are for you or how bad the people are that live in your city.

Have I made my point clear? It’s you that gets in your own way. It’s your story and your excuses that get in your own way. I want you think about that before you react, before you give me a story, or before you defend yourself.

I don’t want to see you go into defense mode here. I don’t want to see you go into protective story mode. I want you to really think about what I’m saying.

I want you to think about it because I want you to get clear with this. Once you become clear, things are going to change in your life.