Why The Shy Guy Is The Best Date

Women's Advice Uncategorized, Understanding the Opposite Sex

By David Wygant April 3, 2015 471 Shares

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

Shy men are all over the place. As a matter of fact 90% of the men that are out there are shy.

They’re shy, they don’t know what to say when they meet a woman. They don’t know what to do, how to ask her out, how to create attraction when they first meet her. But among these guys, these shy guys, are a lot of the men that have been coming to my boot camps and seminars for the last 15 years.

They’re warm. They’re sensitive. They’re really great guys. And do you know what their number one desire is?

They want a girlfriend. That’s right. They want to meet somebody. They want to meet somebody so bad. A lot of them want kids, they want to be somebody’s husband. These shy men are pretty amazing individuals.

The problem is a lot of you women out there are waiting for the alpha-guy to come. You love the alpha-guy. The alpha-guy is the guy that you’re always attracted to, and you always want to be that woman in that princess fantasy that gets swooped up by the cool, calm, alpha-guy.

Most men are not built that way. And if all of you are waiting for that princess fantasy to come true, then you’re going to miss out on some of the greatest guys that you could ever met. At a recent boot camp, I had some of the men literally come and bear their souls. I asked them what they would do if they had a relationship. I asked them how they would feel if a woman gave them a chance. These are not losers by any means.

These are guys that are successful in many aspects of their lives. They’re really nice men. They’re just men that aren’t great at meeting women. But they’re great at being somebody’s husband. They’re great at being somebody’s boyfriend.

So I’d like you to watch today’s video with an open mind, and I want you to take a look at all the men that are out there. The men that you’ve been missing for a long time. These men are going to be men that you can date. Isn’t it about dating and finding a great quality man?

Isn’t that what being single is all about, finding a great high-quality man to be with. Check out today’s video.

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

About David

1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.

I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.

Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.

43 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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Pam

Saturday, April 4th, 2015

I like shy guys, and there is a difference between being socially awkward and being shy (a lot of people think they're one and the same, and they're not.) A shy person usually starts to open up, relax, and become more confident after they get to know you a bit and feel comfortable....usually not so for the chronically socially awkward person, until they learn to work on it. Us women just have to get better at initiating contact or letting the shy guy know it's OK for them to approach/talk to us.

Caroline

Sunday, April 5th, 2015

Pam-you hit the nail on the head! Big difference between shy and socially awkward. And honestly, no woman is being a "bitch" if she waves off the socially awkward. Why should we have to be with a guy who's a "project". He and or SHE got to do that themselves. But yes, women should definitely be more receptive.

Jess

Monday, April 6th, 2015

It would be interesting if David asked them what kind of woman they're looking for. No doubt they want someone who's more than just "ok". My motto has always been "If I want a great guy I have to BE great! I don't moan about it or demonize quality guys for wanting quality women. It's only fair.

Caroline

Sunday, April 5th, 2015

Do you think any of those guys in the video would give a girl who was socially awkward, dressed as sloppily as many of the guys, or as poorly groomed as a few a second look? A first look?! Nope

Jeanne

Sunday, April 5th, 2015

That was funny!

Jess

Monday, April 6th, 2015

LOL! You are so right!

Jeanne

Sunday, April 5th, 2015

Not every alpha is an Adam Henry and not every shy guy is nice...just sayin'.

Jess

Monday, April 6th, 2015

@Jeane: I really feel bad for the good alpha guys out there & the women who miss out on them. We have been conditioned to think that alphas aren't capable of love, integrity and loyalty. Thank goodness I know better!

Jeanne

Monday, April 6th, 2015

Jess The funny thing is the alphas can keep up with me. I grew up in a LEO family, and having only older brothers for siblings I was constantly doing "boy" things. We were always hunting, camping, riding, or shooting. Although I'm very much a "girl" I still really enjoy those activities. Unfortunately I've only ever found that LE or military seem to enjoy those things, and they tend to be very alpha for obvious reasons.

Jess

Monday, April 6th, 2015

BTW, I read a great article about the "50 Shades of Grey" movie, and why so many were disappointed. The author talks about the difference between a real masculine guy vs. an immature alpha like Grey. https://www.yourtango.com/experts/stacey-martino/50-shades-submission

Vonnie

Wednesday, April 8th, 2015

Jess, what an insightful article! Thank you for sharing it. As I suspected, "50 Shades of Grey" is deeper than it first appears. I found it especially enlightening about the flip-flopping of energies and the difference between surrender vs submission.

Caroline

Wednesday, April 8th, 2015

David-the guys in your video were all pretty well spoken. I couldn't really make out what the two guys who walked in were saying. While I'm sure some girls their age can come off as a "bitch" (your words)-they really aren't presenting themselves well. As women, young ladies spend mega time presenting their best self. We love clothes, shoes, makeup, scents, new hairstyles, etc. I'm old enough to be any of this guys mom-and I think what would significantly put them ahead of every other guy their age is a stylish haircut ( my sons wear their hair long but you wouldn't believe what a good stylist can do) and most of them needed to meet a razor. They can keep some of the growth if they rreally want but lord-get it off your neck! What gorgeous girl who spent hours getting ready is gonna be excited to talk to one if these guys. Stand out-don't be grundgy. My oldest son is 26 and shy but he keeps his beard impeccably trimmed and he wears simple stylish clothes (like one of your videos)-he has NO problem meeting women. And he's super quiet. My youngest son can charm any female from 1-100. But he still gives a damn about his appearance.

Pam

Wednesday, April 8th, 2015

Be careful, Caroline--someone out there in Slob Nation will accuse you of being superficial! ;) The truth hurts for some people but putting a little effort into your appearance never hurt anyone. I agree--why should a woman who presents herself well both in personality and appearance date a guy who is the opposite of that? You tend to attract what you are.

Caroline

Wednesday, April 8th, 2015

Oh don't I know it Pam! Am sure I sounded just like my mom-ha. But they were all very decent, even good looking guys-they just needed some grooming:). Oh but I loved the guy with his curly head of hair-perfect! Both of my sons have thick heads of hair and my stylist actually thins it in places. It lays down easier and my sons both say its more just wash and comb-no fussing. That's what a good stylist does. The facial hair is a pet peeve of mine. I totally get them wanting to grow their facial hair (right of passage at that age) but they need to trim and neaten it-it will actually look like they have more too! It sounds really picky but it's about looking clean and neat-like you care. And if you got a bit of a belly-tshirts just accentuate it. An untucked constructed or dress style shirt will fall away from the belly. Hey-I know-I got a little belly!

Jess

Wednesday, April 8th, 2015

Interesting point you made about quiet guys. To be honest, I prefer quiet introverts like myself -but they have to be engaging, charming and warm. And what you said about presenting yourself well was spot on! I like the idea of walking hand in hand with a guy that also casually stylish...there is something very hot about that! .)

Andrew W

Friday, April 10th, 2015

seriously, why does life, society, culture, have all of these rules, expectations as to what seperates "boys from men" but not for what seperates "girls from women"?

chris

Friday, April 10th, 2015

@Andrew The rules are want you make of them....I understand your frustrations about gender rules Andrew, I have struggled with them myself and I can assure you that many men and women struggle with them as well. Make your own rules you know what I mean? I have had many conversations about nature vs nurture but also about the way men and women are socialized from the day we are born. I really enjoy all of DW's posts but at times, I cannot relate to some of the things he says about both men and women...Sorry David! :-( When he speaks about women wanting to be princesses or wanting the Ken to their Barbie, I just CANNOT relate. I am a tomboy, I am athletic, I like camping, hiking,canoeing, the outdoors, nature, animals, getting dirty while carrying wood etc... I never played with dolls when I was little, l liked drawing, building stuff with Legos and playing outside.Was I less of a girl because I did those things? Does that make me less of a woman now? Does it make me half of a woman and half of a man? I like being lead but I also like to lead at times. Does that make me neutral? Less of a woman? More like a man? I like feeling dominated in bed but I also like to dominate at times....Then what? What am I? Not a woman? A freak? A weirdo? You think there are no "rules" that separate "girls from women"? How about ugly vs beautiful, young vs old, fat vs thin, women with children vs women who never wanted them, women who sleep around vs those who do not, women who choose to stay at home vs the ones that work outside the home, big breasts vs small breasts...There is pressure for everyone Andrew....I try not to make myself crazy with these things anymore and I try my best just to go with the flow of things...I could probably list 10 things that make it such I am NOT like "many" women....I could probably also list 10 things that make it such that I AM like "many" women. I doubt that I am so special that I am the only one in the world who feels this way....I will give you 3 examples of how I am NOT like other women: 1) I absolutely hate shopping, I loathe it...I would rather go for a walk in the woods or go hiking. 2) I think Valentine"s Day is a scam, I always tell my men not to stress out over this travesty of a "holiday". 3) I do not dig men in uniforms or suits. Do not get me started on tuxedos....Beurk!! I will admit that a nice suit can be alluring but I much,much prefer jeans on a man any day of the week....

Andrew W

Sunday, April 12th, 2015

ya, it's just blog posts like this bring back painful memories of all the times I was told to "Man Up, Be a Man, Grow a Pair, Grow some Balls", those phrases are sure as hell god damn annoying

Jess

Friday, April 10th, 2015

Chris, it just means you are an adventurous, multidimensional woman! I bet men find it hard to keep up with you! .) @Andrew- Yes there is a thing that separates "girls from women". One of them whines too much over silly things, constantly looks for approval , and always pouts and cries to get what she wants. The other one respects herself, has dignity, is sensitive yet strong at the same time .) One of them acts high-value and the other always looks for approval.

chris

Saturday, April 11th, 2015

Thanks for the lovely compliment Jess! I actually find it hard to keep up with myself sometimes...;-)

Angela

Sunday, April 12th, 2015

I don't see how shy guys are actually better boyfriend material than outgoing guys. I've been reading David's stuff on the men's side and women's side and it always seems to boil down to this, Women's side: "Hot women give guys who are socially awkward a chance, for once. Socially awkward guys make the best boyfriends. After all, that's what they tell me." Men's side: "Here's how to be able to find a hottie and get great sex. Practice first on women you find least attractive, build your skills, and work upward." The message always seems to be - women, lower your standards, sacrifice your desires so that men can practice on you until they build the skills and move on. I don't see that being shy or being outgoing reflects a person's core values. I've met shy men who turned out to be complete dicks and alpha males who are extremely devoted husbands. I do understand that people need to think outside of the box - not be overly focused on the superficial. However, over and over again, he tells men it's ok to shoot for the hottest woman available, then work upward unless she's considered "crazy" and for women to just wait and go out with whomever comes along and expect to be dumped when a man increases his social skills. Take David's advice with a grain of salt and extreme caution.

Caroline

Monday, April 13th, 2015

I'm relieved I'm not the only one seeing the recurring scenario on the blogs. Was starting to think I was paranoid. The advice given to women always seem to be "settling for less" in some respects. That's rather disconcerting. I believe DW may think deep down all women expect too much and were raised as "princesses" (a very common theme through many of his threads. Will have to ponder and see if this is really all that common amongst women. I personally was raised by a very strong mother and living father. Too many girls in our clan for anyone to claim their a "princess". Makes me wonder if he has any or just one sister amongst brothers in his family. Family dynamics can differ greatly. I know in mine, we 4 girls would say our one brother was treated quite specially at times-"prince"!

Caroline

Monday, April 13th, 2015

Loving father. Claim they're a princess:( Sorry for the typos

chris

Monday, April 13th, 2015

Hi Caroline!! But going for shy men or shorter men or bald men is NOT settling for less....Going for disrespectful assholes is. Is it the fact that you think he tells the men to go for the hotties but the women are told to be more expansive that annoys you? I mean men go for different things...What is hot to one is not for another...I just do not see why people are saying reaching out to shy men is "settling" down....I must be missing something. I must admit though that the whole princess thing really,really annoys me to no end. I just cannot relate when the subject comes up. It is like we are a big monolithic group. I would actually guess that there are a lot of princesses in Los Angeles though....I remember reading an article about some Housewives show from Hollywood or Beverly Hills and it just made want to toss my cookies. Pure and absolute torture. I would rather watch paint dry.

Jess

Monday, April 13th, 2015

Angela- It's really annoying when you think about it! We've had a couple of articles on why "betas" and shy guys should be given a chance. Yet, over at the mens it's all about attracting hotties. Do they really think we're THAT stupid? If they can shoot for the hottest women, we can also shoot for the great alpha males. I've worked really hard on myself , and I deserve a confident man that drives me wild! Never lower you standards. If I have to be single for a long time so be it!

Jeanne

Monday, April 13th, 2015

Jess, Agreed.

Andrew W

Monday, April 13th, 2015

interesting, great way of looking at it Jess

Andrew

Wednesday, April 15th, 2015

I've known for a while now that life is not fair but there are times I feel that concept should have been psychologically drilled into my brain more deeply in my teens or early 20's

Jess

Wednesday, April 15th, 2015

YOU.THINK.TOO.MUCH. If you are able to get out of your head, you would progress fast. I recommend breathing exercises- they will make you feel more present and give you an attractive "aura".

Angela

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

I agree with David & this is useful information to ponder - Men work from the out in, women from the in out. I believe that sadly, it's because women are pretty much objectified. Men are not expected to know women at a level deeper than lover or mother. This isn't true with all, men, but most. Women on the other hand, are REQUIRED to know a man's needs for her own adjustment in society. It's truly a man's world. This in part led to some problems during the early stages of my previous marriage. You see, while I'm attractive, I'm more "attractivish." I'm an acquired taste. My husband was an intellectual nerd so he connected with me initially, not based on looks, but intellect. Sort of backward for most men. However, when we became official, the story a among his friends (I learned this because we were all work colleagues) was I wasn't nearly as attractive as what he could've gotten. That may very well have been true. I even found out that his father had wished had chosen my much more conventionally attractive sister. Ouch. He grew to appreciate me as a daughter-in-law but the seed was planted in my husband's mind - he could have chosen a shinier model. Now, the word is, and by his deeds, my then father-in-law regretted saying that as we became closer a few years before my marriage ended (not for that reason, entirely). Men talk and compare girlfriends. Women do to a certain extent, but for the most part, it's on the basis of how well the men treat them. Frankly, it's because it's not actually expected. Women brag about the "honey do" lists, the kindnesses and the willingness to put up with her shoe collection. Men brag if their women are hot, apologize if they're not. This isn't true of every man or woman. So, yes, David, I agree that men are visually oriented and want bragging rights. I also think that there are men out there who have moved beyond this to a certain extent after being burned by hot women (pun intended) when they found out that was all that was there. I took a relationship class once and the only men in the class were men pushing 60. They were actually finally trying to understand women at a deeper level after the found out, duh, a pretty face doesn't necessarily mean a pretty heart.. I'm shooting for an 80 year old.

Jess

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

Angela, Don't let the recent blog posts get you down. It's much better to stay single than to settle. Never betray your hearts desires because you will hate yourself for it! Men are visual yes ( and I believe we should present the best version of ourselves), but it's your demeanor that drives them wild! I know gorgeous women who became less appealing because they started overcompensating for their men, and acting too "too nice". I also know a girl who is average-looking in my eyes but her alpha boyfriend is nuts about her. It didn't long before I realized why he saw her as a goddess.... Men like women that keep them on their toes! You don't have to be perfect looking for that. But you have to feel sensual in your body and let that ooze through your pores. So many women suppressed that side of themselves and they get "friend -zoned". Sensuality has to do with your walk, that glint in your eyes, the way you subtly touch your skin, and just enjoying being a woman! And btw, we ALSO wants a guy that is sexy in his presence and keeps us interested. It's all human nature.

Jess

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

I also want to add I'm disappointed with DW latest posts. We keep getting the message that we should accept crumbs and being "recycled". I'm afraid DW and his team don't have our best interest at heart. No doubt they had bad experiences with women and they're projecting them onto us. Thankfully, I like myself and I'm able to detect the B.S. I am worried about those that are vulnerable.

chris

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

@ Angela Thank you for sharing your story...Broke my heart. I am very sorry that you went through that in such a very public manner. How truly humiliated and heartbroken you must have felt. I guess i should consider myself lucky that my experiences with being humiliated by men were done privately. I am 38 years old, should I go for 65 year olds? I think I will remain celibate for a long time....

Jack

Sunday, April 19th, 2015

Nice guys finish last.... if some time ago it was compliment for me from women then now it's more like critique I know she will never want to see me again if she said I was nice... All women deep down want crazy asshole criminal who will give her temporary large boost of dopamine and who will pump and dump her then... seen that countless times, and then women is the one who finish last often alone with baby on her hands from asshole criminal who now don't give a fu.. about her and baby ... And before you say something... to be honest I don't give a f..k about anything you will say to try to defend you... it's same like with alcoholics and rug users who will almost never admit their problem unless it has gone too far....

Tommy j

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015

Hey who is that handsome man next to me its Francesco!!!! ;)

Millie

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2015

I love this!!! It gives me hope that there are high quality husband material men out there. Very inspiring!:)....:it's real simple.." Don't be rude" I don't care if the woman looks like a Victoria's Secret model---rudeness makes a woman Fugly in a heartbeat.

Millie

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2015

Ps Swagger plus boyish charm is extremely sexy.... Muy caliente as far as I'm concerned:)

Why The Shy Guy Is The Best Date

About David

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43 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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Pam

Caroline

Jess

Caroline

Jeanne

Jess

Jeanne

Jess

Jeanne

Jess

Vonnie

Caroline

Pam

Caroline

Jess

Andrew W

chris

Andrew W

Jess

chris

Angela

Caroline

Caroline

chris

Jess

Jeanne

Andrew W

Andrew

Jess

Angela

Jess

Jess

chris

Jack

Tommy j

Millie

Millie