You blew getting her number.

For those of you who have followed me, I call this moment the carrot grow moment.

For those of you who don’t, let me tell you the story.

A long time ago, in a land far far away (it was probably in the beginning of this century, in a land far far away, called Brentwood)….

I was in the Whole Foods in Brentwood in Los Angeles.

It was a Tuesday night.

I was doing my usual thing; whenever I walked into that Whole Foods, I was always constantly looking for somebody to flirt with. I trained my brain that way, and it’s really important for men and women to train their brains that way, too.

Now we’ve trained our brain now to constantly stare at our phone screens. These were the simpler days, in a land far far away, in a time when everybody was still innocent and not addicted to their phones.

I walked in; I did the usual look down each aisle to see who was in there, because to me it was efficient. I’d get my food, I’d hopefully connect with somebody, and get a great date, and have a future girlfriend.

Once again, mindset is everything. I didn’t walk in there with my phone, staring at it, ignoring people like people do today.

Did I make my point? Good.

There she was. She was looking at the carrots.

I, like I always do, observed something. I wanted to talk to her, but being a normal man, instead of thinking of what pickup line to use, I allowed my brain and my creativity to notice something. I took a deep breath, which I always do, and I noticed the fact that she was struggling to get carrots into a bag.

I walked over with confidence. I have no fear talking with somebody because she is another woman — a person. She’s an equal. She’s not a fantasy, she’s not somebody I need to validate myself in front of, she’s just a normal being and that’s how I always talk to everybody, whether it’s a girl, an old man, an old woman, a child. Just make a difference.

I don’t have any of that sexual escalation crap and all the other stuff that people worry about so much. I just know that I’m trying to make a human to human connection.

She’s struggling trying to get the carrots in a plastic bag.

She couldn’t get the plastic bag open.

I looked at her, and I said, “Allow me.”

I touched the carrots, wetted my fingers, pulled a new bag down, and having wet the fingers was able to open up the bag. I shook it open and I held it open for her and allowed her to put the carrots in.

We stared at each other because it was one of those moments when you know you have instant attraction with somebody. I told her this was one of the greatest skills I possessed; it’s my superhero power. Something like that.

We talked a little bit more and then we walked away.

I couldn’t believe it. I actually walked away from somebody I was so attracted to.

So what did I do next? I quickly got my stuff. I went into the line behind her, two people behind her.

She smiled and said hi again. I smiled and said hi back. The little old lady and the man between us? Well, it was a buffer zone. I allowed that to intimidate, or stop me from having a conversation.

She swiped her card, paid her bill, and walked out. As she walked out, she looked back and smiled and waved at me one more time. What did I do?

I did nothing. I didn’t run after her, I didn’t tell her that we should go out, I didn’t do a thing.

Mistake?

A few weeks later I ran into her in a bar. She walked in there. A friend of mine gave her a hug, and I said, do you know my carrot girl? He goes yeah, she’s amazing. I said, who’s the dude?, hoping that it was like a long-term boyfriend and we just had some flirtatious man-woman moment and there was nothing more.

He looked at me and said, she just met him, two days ago, and they really hit it off. She’s been looking for a relationship for so long. She’s very open. And I looked at him, and I said yeah, and I told him my carrot girl story. He looked at me and said, you blew it, and I said, yes I did.

We all have these stories, we all have our carrot girl.

But what you need to do, instead of thinking you blew it, you need to realize you’ve arrived.

It’s changing your mindset in everything.

How many times did the team that lost the AFC or NFC title game the following year go on to win the Super Bowl? Did they blow the AFC title game, or did they take their mindset and realize that they arrived?

It’s all about realizing you’ve arrived. It’s all about you formulating your mindset.

It’s all about how you determine the outcome to be. Yes, you blew it. But once again, reframing it and saying to yourself: I’m ready. I’m ready to date the most beautiful woman I can find. I’m no longer going to date what I’ve been accepting.

I can flirt with beautiful women and they respond to me.

Beautiful women desire me.

Beautiful women crave me.

Beautiful women adore me.

Beautiful women respond to me the way I am, the magical, amazing version of myself.

That’s how you need to reframe it. Don’t beat yourself up. Look at the win that just happened. Because there was a major win that happened. Embrace that win and then watch how you now can effortlessly approach beautiful women and the next one you’ll ask out with confidence because you had a win and not a loss.