why is dating so hardDear Women of the world!

I want to share something with you today. For those of you who are in your 20’s, I love you. You’re open and raw. You believe in love. You’re cool to hang with, and you’re not so guarded with your emotions. That’s one of the keys to finding love. So why is dating so hard?

Read on and I’ll explain. I was having a long talk today with members of my team. We were talking about why dating is such hard work for so many people. Sometimes dating feels as difficult as balancing the budget of the U.S Government. I remember in my teens and 20’s it was so different. Boy meets girl. Girl is cool and fun, open and explorative. Boy pursues girl. She’s not playing for keeps. She’s not uptight. She’s not nursing too many wounds from previous relationships. She’s not worrying about being married within a couple of years. She doesn’t think her life will be over if she doesn’t have children by next year. She’s just open and in the moment. She’s not worrying about “why dating is so hard?”

Boy is happy. They hang out. There are no rules or guidelines. Sex just seems to occur. Boy and girl notice they’re together 5 nights a week. They wonder how they got into this relationship. There’s no talk of exclusivity. There’s no talk of all the bad past relationships. There haven’t really been any past relationships. It’s all about having fun. They spend their time talking about what they’re going to become, what life is all about, and before you know it, they find themselves head over heels in love. Ah, the 20’s are so beautiful aren’t they? They’re so innocent and raw.

If you’re in your 20’s right now, I’m sending you a big hug and kiss, and telling you to try not to change your attitude to life and love. All of you in your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and above reading this… You’re exhausting!

It’s so much work trying to get to know you. There are so many hoops to jump through, and walls to climb over. I feel like I’m walking through security in a U.S airport when the threat of terrorism is high. I feel like you’re frisking me, and checking my suitcase for a weapon. I feel like you’re judging and evaluating everything I say. Why is it so hard to connect with you on a deep level? Do you really want to know why dating is so hard for you?

The Real Reason Dating Is So Hard…

Dating is hard because when a woman hits 30 something happens to her mindset. Everything changes for women at 30. Suddenly you’re playing for keeps and it all becomes too serious for you. You’re not as funny as you used to be. You’re not as open as you used to be. Most your past relationships still haunt you. You’re scared to give guys a chance. You give a guy your phone number and suddenly all hell breaks loose. It’s madness. What happened to boy and girl falling in love without all the hassle? Now it’s boy meets girl, boy texts girl. Girl decides when she should text him back. Boy calls girl. Girl doesn’t call back because someone told her to act busy. Boy goes cold. Girl wonders why. Girl feels like another man is treating her badly. It’s all over.

Screw the rules. Forget everything you ever heard about acting busy and unavailable. Stop analyzing everything men say. Stop trying to second-guess what he’s thinking. Stop comparing men to other men. Stop getting dating advice from your friends. Stop worrying about every move you make in a relationship. There isn’t the perfect time to sleep with a man. There isn’t the right time to text a man. Take the pressure off yourself and stop making dating so serious. Get out of your head, and back into your heart. It should be so simple. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Boy and girl are open. They want to explore each other. They fall in love. Go back to when you were 20 or younger. You were so much more open. You believed your prince was out there.

Forget about your dating history. Learn the lessons and move on. If you feel any attraction to a man, act on it. Stop overthinking everything. It should be easy. We’re not trying to balance the U.S budget. So the next time you meet “boy” remember what it was like when you were young, open, vulnerable, and ready to be the little mermaid. If you’ve not seen the movie “The Little Mermaid” or you’ve forgotten how sweet and open to the possibilities of life Ariel is, go watch it. You could learn a thing or two!