From where does the term “Black Friday” come?

Black Friday––it sounds so bleak. Why can’t it be Yellow Friday, since it’s sunny and happy and all the stores are advertising that they are giving away stuff (that they’re not really giving away).

Well, it’s true. You have to wake up at 1:00 in the morning, be first in line, and be armed with a great pair of track shoes so you can sprint faster than everyone else to get the one and only plasma television they are selling for $529.00.

But here’s the deal: Black Friday is probably one of the best days to meet people.

Why?

Well, people are out and about all day long. People are also thinking about the holiday season.

They just spent Thanksgiving with their family.  Families are wonderful at making you feel like a total loser.  When are you going to get married?  When are you going to have kids?  How come you’re not dating anybody this year? Wow, you’ve spent a lot of this year alone.

Family members will give you what I call “the holiday guilt,” because they make you feel like your entire life has been wasted or that you are wasting your entire life. You’re not dating anybody, so you’re dateless.  How many of you heard some version of this on Thanksgiving: “God, at your age most people are already married. All your friends are married, aren’t they?”

This happens so often around the holidays because we spend more time with our family than we do with friends. Often we overdose on time with family during this time of the year.

You go home for Thanksgiving for four days.  You go home for Christmas for four days. During all of those days you get tortured by your grandmother, you mothers, your father, and an occasional aunt, as they take inventory on the past year of your dating life, your career and the rest of your life.

So when you’re out shopping today for your lovely family and other friends, remember what kind of emotional state most people are in after spending yesterday with their family watching their sister with her three happy children when they don’t have any children.

That’s what being with family does to you.  It doesn’t mean that family does this maliciously at all. It’s just the way family is.

When you are shopping today, start talking to people and ask people how their Thanksgiving was.  You’ve got stories to share. Ask them, “Who are you getting this gift for?” or “How was yesterday?” or “Did your family give you the 411 like mine did?

Really think about people’s emotions today and how open people are on the day after Thanksgiving. After someone has spent a full day with their family giving them Jewish guilt (or any other kind of guilt), they are emotionally open because they’ve taken inventory. They have actually thought about what their family said.

People are very sensitive, and can really take to heart what their family says to them. They feel uncomfortable with what their family says to them.

So when you’re out there today shopping on Black Friday, talk, flirt and ask people if they got the one plasma television that was on sale for $529.00. Have fun in line if you’re one of those people who will be waiting in a line for the special 5:00 pm deals they have later in the day.

If you’re single, get your ass out there to shop. Don’t shop on the Internet.

I tell everyone who is single not to shop on the Internet, because you can get deals that are just as good in the stores. You can quote the Internet prices to stores, and many of them will match them.

For those of you who are single and who celebrate Christmas, it’s time to go shopping every single day. I will talk plenty about this between now and ho ho ho.