Whoa!!! Are You Really That Mad at Me?

Women's Advice Uncategorized, Videos

By David Wygant January 18, 2013 133 Shares

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

Screen Shot 2013-01-18 at 8.03.02 AM Every week we do a podcast on Wednesdays where I answer questions from a loyal customer.

This past Wednesday I posted a podcast that set off a firestorm in my email inbox.

I got many responses from women who agreed with me, but several from women who felt I was being too harsh.

I’m actually at the iDate conference in Las Vegas right now, but I recorded a video response to these accusations while on my way to the airport.

Watch the video below and let me know what you think in the comments:

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

About David

1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.

I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.

Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.

12 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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RJ

Friday, January 18th, 2013

David, I agree with you. I have plenty of woman friends and even some men friends in my life that will tell me that the problems I am having in my relationship are not my fault, and he is a jerk, but that is not making ANY difference. NONE! I would not be writing you (see my previous email), if I just wanted to waste time hearing what a great person I am. I want to change things. I want what I want to happen. Do the same things and hear the same advice, get the same results! Change comes from changing something. Sometimes to change, you have to hear the hard truth.

Pam

Friday, January 18th, 2013

David--My problem with the podcast wasn't the advice that was given. It was the judgmental tone it took on halfway through. Your assistant said Ms. "blank blank" was most likely a timid woman cowering in the corner at a party with black hair and a gray outfit on. The both of you were making assumptions (and making fun of her) just because she didn't want her name to be mentioned. It came across as immature and a little humiliating in my honest opinion. You also seemed to be chastising her for asking for *free* advice and almost seemed insulted that was reaching out with a question without having paid for a product or bootcamp--despite the fact that people know they have access to you by emailing you directly. I don't think that anyone who has been reading this blog for a while expects "hand holding" or for the advice to be soft and sympathetic, but I think it could have been a *bit* more respectful. Just my two cents.

Bob

Friday, January 18th, 2013

I concur with Pam. The podcast took on a condescending "put her in her place tone." I don't think the advice it gave was wrong it just came out a little harsh instead of encouraging. Oh well, no we don't hate you. You're very good at what you do David, that podcast just sounded a bit demeaning.

Andrea

Saturday, January 19th, 2013

I listened to the podcast about Ms blank_blank yesterday, and I had no problem with the tone at all. I appreciate the clear statements. The main point of the message was for me that we have to open up and dare something or else we cannot really meet someone on a personal level. I have always been amused by how people describe a problem on the net and then use letters x, y and z instead of names as if the mere mentioning of a first name, for example "Susan" can make someone realize "Oh, this is Mrs Susan Smith, 45 Sunset Boulevard, phone number....". So blank_blank made me grin quite a bit. :-) Some people want help but they don't want to share anything of themselves, don't want to run a risk, want signs (as David said). Nothing in life is risk-free. David, I am not one bit mad at you. I thank you. Please don't start sugar-coating your words.

lm

Saturday, January 19th, 2013

LOL, David. We're not *mad*. I, for one, am just surprised that, in addressing [blank blank] you seemed to have completely forgotten the exact same thing you've told us on so many occasions, to wit: Men and women are different. So we hear things different ways. Men say things women find astonishingly hurtful, and you all laugh and say "Oh, we were just joking." Men and women communicate differently. So they need to be communicated *to* differently. Also, what Pam said. All of it. (I think it's also interesting that the topic seems to have diverged also from the critique of the actual advice -- namely, that approaching men the way you recommended can make men perceive a woman as masculine ... and then the woman ends up doing all the work in the relationship (if it happens at all) and then ultimately gets abandoned/left by that man she approached ... but I guess that's a topic for another post. :-) )

caroline

Sunday, January 20th, 2013

thanks for the podcast David! this reminds me a bit about my high school basketball days. after 2 years of having a woman head coach we suddenly had a male coach. what a difference in style. there wasn't one woman on that team who didn't buck at first but in the end learned something invaluable from him. am just sayin..:)

Jen

Sunday, January 20th, 2013

Sometimes the instructor has to sit back and listen to his "students" feedback and critique..... If your message didn't agree with your audience, you need to rewrite your lessons. I hated the podcast because it reminded me of girls who used to pick on me in high-school. It wasn't directed at me personally but I felt useless. Dave you've mentioned that men and women think and perceive things differently - my advice to you is be more sensitive with your female audience.

Tasha

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

Dave, I've just begun listening to your podcasts and reading your blog which I find informative. Not sure what to make of this one tbh - the message was clear that 'blank blank' should get off her a** and stop being a wallflower. That she should make things happen for herself rather than relying on others to initiate. Great. What irked me was your and Obi's patronising tone and making fun of her. It was clearly hard for 'blank blank' to write in as it is. Not a professional approach by coaches who broadcast over the airwaves. Tasha

Mike

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

The podcast reminded me another video which David did along with one of his students. In the store, there was a woman with a Burka on, when comments about her being made that she wasn't worth talking to because she was wearing a Burka. It was disrespectful. One has to get out of their heads that a person wearing a Burka is not worth talking to. Of course, that person wouldn't be someone David would want to date nor his student, but...doesn't David preach about talking to everyone? And doesn't "everyone" include talking to someone wearing a Burka? I talked to one, and she was a delight to talk with. She worked in a nursing home, my mom was rehabbing from a fall. She was more friendly than some of the others. Instead of talking about how big their b/f friend's dick was in front of the patients like my mom, she had something to say. You see many of the patients they worked with, were not totally functional mentally. But my mom could understand what they were saying and was totally grossed out by it. As I talked to her more, there would be times where she would give me free food and juice when I would be visiting my mom. It's great to be open and honest about things, it is quite another to be disrespectful.

Bob

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

Well, I think we shouldn't be too hard on david. He's done a lot of go work for (i'd have to look it up to get the exact number) many years. The kernel of truth to his podcast is that a truly masculine, a truly chivalrous man is not going to walk p to every woman in the bar an proposition her. Whatever weird 1950's stereotypes about "the guy has to make the first move" women might still have, it would be healthier for them to understand that a real man seldom comes on uninvited. If you want to find a decent person you've got to get out of your comfort zone a little and send him a sing. It can be the way you stand, a touch of his hand, or the way you fix your hair. If you simply sit around and wait 90% of the men who will come on to you are the "come-on-er" types. After X number of years David finally had a podcast that got a little to harsh in the middle, but the point he was making is a good one. If ya need a little help, send up a flare. The guys who pull random women over to the side of the road and proposition them aren't the guys you wanted in the first place.

Bob

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

*sign

Millie

Saturday, June 13th, 2015

oh dear lord...where I'm from it's NOT what a person is saying...it's THE HEART of whats being said. I've had people be syrupy sweet and it meant ZILCH and their hearts were absolutely cruel. --This podcast....I kept trying to listen for the "insult".....and um...I didn't hear it...because the coaches HEART was RIGHT...their heart was for this lady to learn self love, to get out there, to not obsess over one fella.------Women can be so sensitive...I'm 100% girl...but goodness gracious. That's kinda the problem...women say they want men...until they meet a "real" one and then they want him to be a Hairy chick....oh brother.

Whoa!!! Are You Really That Mad at Me?

About David

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12 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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RJ

Pam

Bob

Andrea

lm

caroline

Jen

Tasha

Mike

Bob

Bob

Millie