Being a holiday week, I thought I would keep the conversation light and fun today. So what better topic to go over today than the fun male game of who would you rather.

I was watching a movie the other night called “Hall Pass” with Owen Wilson and Jason Sedakis. It was a Farrely brothers movie which I did not realize until, during the course of the movie, all these ridiculously hilarious scenes based on the stupidest things in the entire world weer scattered throughout the movie.

But I’ve got to say, it’s really a fun, good movie. Definitely a dude’s movie, not a chick flick at all.
So there was a pretty funny scene in the movie where they’re sitting around, talking, playing poker, basically they’re doing total guy things. They’re going around the table asking things like, “How much would you spend if you could have one night with a Hawaiian Tropic model and your wife would never find out?” And they were arguing about bidding on it. $3,000, $4,000, $5,000?

Guys sometimes do the stupidest things like that. Like that would ever happen, like a Hawaiian Tropic model would hang out with you for a night and basically have you pay them for their company.
Who cares, you and your friends are never going to bid and win a night with a Hawaiian tropic model in the first place. Hawaiian tropic models . . . Who wants a Hawaiian Tropic model, anyway? You’ve got to think about the career goals of a woman who decides that her lifelong dream and profession is to be a Hawaiian Tropic model.

Another funny thing that men do all the time that I think is just ridiculous is when they sit around and then start doing the Who would you rather bang? game.
“Who would you rather bang, Mila Kunis or Scarlett Johanssen?” Scarlett.
Then you’ll go, “Ok, Mila Kunis or Jennifer Aniston?” Hmmm…Mila Kunis.

And you’ll go through all the celebrities. Cameron Diaz or Angelina Jolie? And you’ll sit there and have that conversation for about a half hour, and then you’ll argue about why Mila Kunis would be a much better lay than Jennifer Aniston or Scarlett Johanssen.

The thing is, if any of those women were every standing in front of you, you’d bang any of them in a heartbeat. Let’s get real. Secondly, you’re never going to be standing in a line at a market, coffee shop, or movie line with them behind you, where you can look at them and say, “Excuse me, I had a conversation with my nerdy friends the other day and I decided I would rather bang you, Mila, than you, Scarlett.”

In reality, your only debate is who you will be masturbating to that night. Mila or Scarlett…hmmm which one does your hand want to please yourself thinking of?

I mean, it is the stupidest game in the entire world. You might as well play this game and make it more realistic: Challenge each other. Say hey, would you rather bang the Nordstrom’s counter girl, the Sephora perfume girl, or the barista at Starbucks? Play that game and then challenge one another to go and see who can get a date with the barista or the Nordstrom’s girl. Be a little productive in your conversation instead of acting like a bunch of nerdy lunatics.

All right, so here’s my question of the day to you: Who would you rather bang, Mila Kunis or Scarlett Johanssen?
Got you, huh? Let’s see how many people actually answer.