When Is The Right Time To Have Sex?

Elizabeth

Monday, September 10th, 2007

I'll actually be VERY curious to read what the men's thoughts are on this topic ... because this is one topic that frankly baffles me. I was always under the impression that David's therapist friend was correct, however, my own experience is not consistent with that theory. The guy I waited the longest the longest with (and actually never did sleep with) ended after five months because he thought he had waited too long, whereas my longest relationship (almost 2 years) was with someone I slept with on the third date ... So, is there no rhyme or reason to this? Is there no one "right answer?" I'm very curious ... so might I ask the men to speak up and be very forthright? Your honesty and "words of wisdom" will be much appreciated!! :)

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Faryn

Monday, September 10th, 2007

The "right" time is any time a man and a woman agree to have sex. The suddenness or drawn out process of doing the deed shouldn't, in my opinion and experience, have any significance on whether a relationship fizzles, begins, blossoms, fades or ends. If you want each other, have each other and enjoy.

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Joan

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Faryn: I agree with that 110%. I think two consenting adults who feel the time is right mutually have the sense enough to make that choice. To linger on and on when there is an attraction and common interests there would be very frustrating. I'd say be careful of course who you get with, enjoy the time you can with them. It may be the only chance you get. The outcome can range from a "happily ever after" to a broken heart in need of mending. You can possibly have a friend for life there for you. The point is, if you never take a chance in this life, how will you ever know what could have been?

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Jessica

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Ohh

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Jim

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Sex changes everything...........:)

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Elizabeth

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Jim - Would you care to elaborate???

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Jessica

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Jim, What exactly it changes?

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Jim

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Elizabeth, Like Faryn, you know when its a go sexually. I would rather wait, take the low road. I have found that woman will let you know what they want when they want it, regardless! And if and when, or when and if. YOu'll know! But afterwards everything changes. Someone wants more. In my case its been the women wanting more than i could give them. My heart has yet to tell me i want more. Call it love, or just a feeling, I listen to my heart. So for me sex changes everything. :)

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Tony

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Simply put, day 1 (or should I say night 1??). Studies, schumdies. I just heard of a study released a couple of weeks ago that said that couples who sleep together on the first date are more likely to stay together.

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Lexi

Monday, September 10th, 2007

There are always outliers on the studies. My mom and step dad agreed to wait 6 months and they are still married 15 years later. I've had relationships where I've waited, and where I haven't. I do think there is some advantage to waiting-- if you are unsure of the other person. I also think why you are having sex is important. My current relationship, we did not wait. Of course, neither of us had any expectation of a relationship either.

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David Wygant

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Lexi Great point having no expectations is the key to making any relationship work!! Tony...so true and this study we are doing today is about how scientific they get so never ever listen to a study:)

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Faryn

Monday, September 10th, 2007

I hope I write this correctly, I'm in a hurry so stay with me! There is a big difference between attraction, flirting, chemistry, heated making-out, sex, making love, fun, whether it's for one time or many ... a relationship that embraces all of that for one time or many times doesn't necessasarily "have to" follow thru with love, commitment, living together, getting married and staying together. Or any combination thereof. I wrote before that there are many levels of love. Being able to differentiate between the "love" one feels upon orgasim and the "love" one feels when in a loving, committed, living together, getting married and staying together relationship, is key. I feel "love" towards my mark every time, do I stay with him because of that? Or he with me? NO. Men and Women need to keep their heart and feelings out of their sex organs when having sexual relations. Men and Women confuse the two; sex does not equal or mean LOVE, by the same token, LOVE does not equal or mean sex - many happily married couples, especially the elderly, are evidence of that. It is only after agreement, time and particular ingredients added to the mix should Men and Women fall into the level of love that joins them exclusively together. And that period of time is nebulous. I asked my parents what they thought. Two people whom I respect above all others gave me their answers, with huge smiles upon their faces. My Father wanted inside my Mother the moment he first saw her. My Mother wanted the same. And so they came together within hours of meeting. They have been together, including married, for over 50 years. I am the product of one of those tender sharings. They only fell in love after several years of marriage, they only understood the depth of their love long, long, long after the bloom of their deep seated passion had faded. It is beautiful to see them together.

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Jessica

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Faryn, This is so beautiful! :)

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Joan

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Well Faryn, I will so agree again here with you. I have NEVER believed in "love at first sight." Lust at first site? ALL THE TIME;) I deeply believe that real deep passionate love is something that has to be nurtured with attentive behaviors on both parts, respect and the understanding each others different qualities. This only comes over extended periods of time talking together, making love together, going through good as well as the bad together--- I also believe one can love this deeply but it be slaughtered over a period of one blow after the other. This I have suffered, but I do believe love exists and that one day it will find me in tangible form. If we give up hope on love, I believe we give up hope on life. What is life without love? Very empty is the answer to that question. Now, I am not talking about a smothering love, nor marriage. Been there done that. I am referring to having someone you can love talking with, spending time in and out of bed with, share and enjoy each others interests and dreams. This is love in my opinion. Sex is not love; a piece of paper that keeps you bound by contract CERTAINLY IS NOT love. Those are biproducts of love. Love should be a happy time even when times are tough--you have each other:)

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