What’s Your Story?
Nervous around beautiful women? Download my 10 best “no-fail” openers that WILL have her handing you her phone number tonight.
Today’s podcast is going to be really interesting, but also really short, because I want to be sure to get this message across to you guys. I’m not going to tell you exactly what it is here cause I want to be sure you will listen to it.
Before I go into today’s blog, though, a little update for you. Within the last week I went to get a second opinion about my back, and based upon that I am not going to have surgery.
According to this doctor, who is one of the top doctors in Los Angeles, my body can heal itself. Apparently what I have is really not that serious. The doctor says that the herniated disc and the fragments that are attached to it can heal themselves.
Our bodies can work miraculous recoveries. The doctor actually told me that I am crazy to undergo surgery when I can heal without it. So, now I am in the process of healing myself.
It’s interesting how we really have the power to do anything. I truly believe that. You have the power to heal yourself. You have the power to cure yourself of anything.
A lot of you suffer from approach anxiety. A lot of you suffer from fear of intimacy. The reason you suffer from these things are the stories that you’ve created behind them.
A lot of us create stories. Now, I’m not talking about telling a great story. I’m talking about the stories you create about things that happen (or don’t happen), and the fears and emotions you attach to events.
Let me give you an example. Say you’re fooling around with someone, and they say “Not tonight” when you invite them to stay the night. Immediately you think to yourself, “You know, every single time this happens. Women just aren’t attracted to me. I don’t know what it is. I must not be a good lover.”
That dialog in your head is the story you’re creating. You’re creating that story instead of listening in the moment. Stories are created when you don’t listen to what’s actually going on in the moment.
Here is another good example. Say you ask a woman out and she says, “I’ve got a boyfriend.” So many guys will immediately create an entire story about that when this happens. They think, “Why does this always happen to me? What am I doing wrong?”
These are the stories we create, and those stories are the way that we validate how we are. In reality, though, those stories are nothing more than your fears and excuses.
You go out to bars and every night you come home and think, “You know, the same thing happens every time. I always go up to a woman at the end of the night and she doesn’t seem interested. Women just aren’t attracted to me.”
The truth is that all of that is just the story you’ve created. The real reason women aren’t attracted to you in the bar is because you stare at them all night long, and then by the time you walk over to them they don’t respond well to you because you’ve given you the creepy “stalker guy” vibe.
So really, what are your stories? Behind what do you hide? You need to become conscious of what your stories are, so that you’ll realize that those stories are just fears and excuses. If you would just really listen to people, you wouldn’t need to create all these stories.
Have you ever listened to someone, actually head what they were saying and didn’t create a story based upon it? A woman at the end of a first date says “God, I had such a great time! Can’t wait to see you again.”
So instead of listening to what that woman says, you create a story and you think, “I wonder if she actually means it. I’ve heard women say that before and things didn’t work out.” Based on that you then wait five days or a week to call her.
That’s what we do. We create stories. You do it, and I do it.
Someone doesn’t call you back, and immediately you create a whole story based upon it. You think, “Barry is ignoring my calls. Why is he ignoring my calls. Why is he ignoring my texts?” The reality may be that the person is not doing that at all. The reality may be that they just put their phone down, or left it somewhere, or that they were having dinner with a friend.
We all do this, but this is not what life is all about. Life is about getting out of your head and stopping yourself from creating stories that aren’t true. When you create stories that aren’t true, they based on paranoid fears from past programming.
You need to start recognizing this behavior. When you start creating a story in your head, you need to realize from where that story is coming and then be able to separate what is truth from what is just a story.
Enjoy today’s podcast!
If you want to learn how to breakthrough all your fears and excuses, and how to cultivate the kind of deep inner confidence that will allow you to easily and enjoyably attract people every day, then be sure to check out my Men’s “The Fearless Code”.
Nervous around beautiful women? Download my 10 best “no-fail” openers that WILL have her handing you her phone number tonight.
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