You are flaking . . . and I’m not talking about your scalp or the tip of your nose. I’m talking about you flaking on people.

You can’t make commitments. You cancel at the very last minute. You say yes to something, but then you always tend to blow it off. Are you someone who decides you want to go to an event, but you blow it off at the last minute because no one else will go with you?

Do you know what flaking says about your personality? It shows a lack of commitment. It shows a lack of respect for other people.

I remember an event I did about a year ago. I had 35 confirmed attendees for a room that held 35 people. It was a very exclusive event.

I re-confirmed with these 35 people four times, because this special event had a waiting list of 100 people who wanted one of those 35 spots at the event. I even confirmed with all of these people just a couple hours before the event (because I know human nature and that there are people who don’t respect other people’s time).

Even with all of this, I still had seven of these people who had confirmed just a couple hours before who did not show up for the event. They did not show up because they did not respect my time.

The next day, I emailed those seven people and asked them why they did not show up. They all came up one stupid excuse after another.

The truth is that there was no real excuse. The reason they did not show up was because they neither respected me nor my time.

I received emails from many of the 100 people who were on the waiting list who didn’t get to attend, asking me how the event went and inquiring when I’d be doing another one. Every one of those 100 people really wanted to attend the event, and seven of them could have.

When you commit to someone, you are committing not only yourself but also that other person’s time. So when you flake, you are telling that person that their time is not valuable to you. You are telling that other person that they are not worth hanging out with, and that you don’t respect their time or them as a person.

Flaking says a lot about your personality. Guys ask me all the time whether they should continue to hang with a woman who has flaked on them several times. They ask me if they should continue to call her.

I always ask them, “Why would you want to call her? Why would you want to continue to call somebody who doesn’t respect your space, doesn’t respect your time, and doesn’t respect you? It shows a lack of respect for yourself.”

So do not flake when you’ve committed to something. Show up and be present. You might learn something, and you might actually have a good time.