1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.
I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.
Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.
1. Authenticity, honor and integrity.
2. Openness, honesty and uncensored depth.
3. Passion, compassion, and love.
4. Loyalty and servitude.
5. Fearlessness in the face of all things that are within my control.
It is a lot to live up to, but after last weekend's seminar, I have accepted that I deserve no less.
What if you are being authentic and friends or family are not happy with it? They are not getting what they want and are giving you a hard time of it.
I will have a think about it my list and put it up
Mathew,
The people that cannot accept your authentic self should have no power over you. If your authentic self is significantly different than the persona you have presented to the world, then yes you can expect reactions from those who are close to you. You may have to redefine several of your closest relationships. But finding who you are and being that person you deserve to be is nothing short of amazing. While it may drive away those who cannot accept your changes, it will also attract beautiful things into your life.
The last couple days in my hometown, nobody has been unhappy with my changes, and I can see the way people observe my energy. I've flirted with a woman I've had my eye on for close to a year, complemented beautiful strangers, and have been complemented by beautiful strangers. Nobody has felt my energy and gone out of their way to come up to me and say "I can't stand who you are". If anyone feels that way towards me they are probably not being authentic, and are not secure enough to try and disrupt the radiance of my energy.
So don't fear it, once you get there you'll feel everyone's support and know you don't need any one person's validation to feel good.
It's going to be hard for me too, I realize that a good chunk of my Facebook friends are people that I would normally commiserate with. I'm not there anymore, and we won't be able to share the same feeling. I will likely break contact with a lot of those friends, so they don't have an effect on my new energy.
Re: "What if you are being authentic and friends or family are not happy with it?"
One of my favorite guys says:
"Keep smiling! Everyone will wonder what you've been up to!" :D
I always tell them, "I love you!" That is the only thing that makes them feel better! lol
Roy, the stuff you're writing about is really great.
And Matthew, just to add to what Roy and LoveForever were saying about your friends and family. When I started becoming more authentic I lost friends. Usually because they didn't want to be around me anymore. I wasn't commiserating as much, I started getting direction in my life and they got angry with me. But I knew I couldn't stop growing so the friendship withered.
On the other hand, the friends who really loved me for me became even closer to me as I grew. And I've made friends who are much more in line with who I am.
So yeah, friendships will change, end, grow or begin when you become more authentic, but it will all be better than it was before.
My list
1. A leader, will to take change. A leader of my life
2 .Open to connect to people
3. Say’s no to bullshit. My bullshit and others people.
4. Not needy.
5. Willing to have a go.
Thanks you guys for taking the time to get back to me and for your words of advise.
@LoveForever. I think they are not happy because they are not what they want.
I used to LIVE lol for trying to make people happy lol (especially miserable family members! lol) They used to say it was all me, everything was me and I believed it because they said so, so therefore it was lol because what they say is always right, lol of course! lol I was miserable just like them, just like they wanted me to be! :( (This was before the internet and I didn't know anything! lol) Then, one day I was going through my parents bookshelf and there were these tapes and they said, "VISCOTT: TECHNIQUES FOR UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE" so I was like, "JACKPOT, BABY!!! Ooooh!! Let's see what these say!" lol Needless to say they were an epiphany in my life!! Especially the part that said, "ANGRY PEOPLE HATE THEMSELVES AND THEY SELF-PROJECT THEIR HURT AND THEIR FEELINGS ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES ONTO OTHER PEOPLE" lol Well, well, well!! lol So this is what they've been doing! lol (I was really dumb, then! lol Never knew this! lol) Afterwards, I had a NICE CHAT lol with them over this!! lol (It also said we had to go out and take risks lol so I was doing the risk-taking part! ;) lol We had to tell people how we really felt or they wouldn't know! lol and people that care will care and people that don't have their own problems! I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!! I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE OUTCOME. I WAS MORE FOCUSED ON THE RISK-TAKING PART lol BUT IT TURNED OUT THEY ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT MY FEELINGS! lol) and they admitted that yes, it was them, all of it was them self projecting their feelings about themselves onto me! (OMG people! Get a hold of yourselves! lol) I spent my WHOLE LIFE doing everything that they wanted me to do in order for them to be happy and with each one checked off of their list, they never changed, never got any happier and I was like, OMG! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!! lol My mom would never let me do things that I was passionate about (like ballet for instance. I wasn't allowed to like or do anything dance related, which I loved. Never even allowed to talk about it! :( Her mom loved ballet and she had issues with her evil mom. lol (Pretty much what Freud says! lol)). So as soon as I turned 18, I got everything ballet lol and hid doing it and never let her know about it! lol but of course, she went through my stuff once (without asking!!) and found the stuff lol and I just denied it! lol She still gave me scary hell over it but whatever! "Deny! Deny! Deny! Give them the impression that they want!" lol "I don't have that stuff that you're talking about! Don't know what you're talking about" lol (I learned a lot of tricks from the gold mine tapes! lol)
Fast forward 20+ years later~ she now buys me expensive ballet tickets with pretty much front row seats as gifts, lol takes me to the ballet, buys and sends me ballet DVDs and special things she finds, mentions everything dance that she hears about! lol It's unreal! lol
omg that was long! lol what was I getting at... ummm...I forgot! lol
Oh and there's more bizarre stories like when I was told to do military physical fitness workouts so that they would be happy and then when I did them and got extraordinarily impressive results, they weren't happy! lol They hated me!! lol
So then in my search for how to make my family happy and not be mean to me, lol (they did really horrible things just because they're nazis lol) omg I came across something that was talking about how a woman makes her husband happy in a relationship and it said, (surprise! surprise! lol) "A happy woman makes a man happy" lol "Be super happy over every little good thing that he does" lol (I know! I know! it should seem obvious but when you know people like my family and have been treated the way that they treat people, it messes with your mind like people who haven't been in that situation could never understand! lol Even if it's not you, the fact that they treat you badly makes you think it is! Period! lol) So I thought, "I'll try this on them!" lol (It also said, "if this doesn't make him happy, he's never going to change" lol) So I was super happy all of the time lol over everything! lol super super happy! lol And when they did bad things to me, I forgave them (and they did seriously horribly bad things to me that they belong in prison for. lol I was told to report them to the cops, which I never did because I was terrified of what they would do to me as retribution! lol These are not people that you get (any more) upset! lol) I pretended that they were the kind, loving people that I wished they were and was just loving back to them and always happy! happy! happy! lol I think of myself like a pet! lol Always happy to see them! lol Then, omg! they started to give me lots of presents! lol (but were still mean to me and were not happy lol) but WHO CARES! lol I'LL TAKE PRESENTS!! lol I've given up my search to make them happy and to like me and will just take the presents!! lol Also, after a while, I started to see only the good things about them and ignored the bad things (which I found out from the law of attraction AFTER I had to find this out on my own!) lol Being super happy (and forgiving everyone for bad things that they do -which takes a lot of prayers! lol and God's help! lol) made me super happy, my life the best and brought or attracted happy, loving people into my life! It's sad that some of my family will never change but they are always there for me and even if they hate it lol and me lol at least they give me presents! lol (I'm so selfish! lol)
Happy Easter and I wish the best and the most happiness for you and everyone else always!! Love to you Forever and ever! xoxo :D
11 Comments | Join the Discussion!
Roy
Wednesday, April 4th, 2012
mathew
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Roy
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Roy
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
LoveForever
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Intern Dan
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Roy
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
mathew
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
LoveForever
Saturday, April 7th, 2012
LoveForever
Saturday, April 7th, 2012
LoveForever
Sunday, April 8th, 2012