Here I am, sitting next to a couple of iTards. Do you know what iTards are?

iTards are basically two people who sit across a table from each other and instead of conversing, they just pass an iPhone back and forth to each other. “Look at my picture!” “Wow, look at the new YouTube video that just got posted!” “Wow, check this website out!”

This made me realize that there is a whole new style of dating going on out there. It’s called iTard Dating.

In iTard Dating, you really don’t talk about emotions or life experiences. You just pass an iPhone back and forth to each other.

So whenever you run out of conversation, you just start passing the iPhone back and forth. “Oh my God, I have nothing more to say on this date, but I’m an iTard so let me show you the new apps I just downloaded.”

If not that, maybe you show them some “texting of the future” thing on your iPhone. You say, “Hey, look how I can text everyone I know at once. Look here at my entire text conversation . . . or should we watch a movie together on the iPhone?”

So clearly there is a whole new way of dating going on out there. It’s called iTard Dating, and it’s for all of the iTard people out there.

It’s unbelievable how people are so attached to their iPhones. It really is.

We’ve become a generation not of intelligent people, but of iTards. This is going to be perpetuated if all these iTards get together and have kids. They are going to start having babies together, and have to wait until the baby is born to see if he or she is iTarded or not.