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Sometimes you need to get warm before you get comfortable talking to people.
And that makes sense because being social is like a sport.
And what do sports players do before each big game?
They practice.
So I’ve created a video showing you one of my favorite social exercises.
Watch and enjoy:
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About David
1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.
I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.
Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.
Really good advice. The more you talk to people, the more you get used to it. I would only change the routine a bit. By saying hello to random people, pretty much everyone thinks you are homeless and want money. I would hold a map of the city (London in this case) in my hand, and ask people for directions. That would be a bit more natural and lead to better conversations.
why would they think you are homeless? i mean, i can tell this guy took a shower recently and is wearing nice clothes. Have you ever seen a bump in a cool leather jacket? xD
You have the map unfolded, in your hands, and you make it look like you have no idea where you are...people will naturally help you. And they will stop. They might even give you tips and hints on where to go. Especially in a place like London, people are used to tourists. I would say at any given point in time, half of the people you see in London are tourists...
HOLY CRAP! The way the women reacted to Boodoo when he said hi to them when they walked by.. Is EXACTLY the way they react to me! EXACTLY.
Women didn't really make much eye contact with him as they walked by, they answered with just a "hi" back, (one word answer), and kept on walking (quickly), and they really didn't seem to notice him at all, even after he addressed them.
So, my question is, when they react like that, (basically NO reaction) how does that HELP your dating life?
What I mean is,, I understand you are trying to get warmed up, but if women continually react with indifference like that, what are you getting warmed up FOR?
I feel much better after watching this video though. When women reacted that way to me, I kinda took it personally... Like I was receiving instant rejection, after rejection. It's good to see a decent looking guy (no homo.. lol) get the same reactions that I do.
jhon this is the first not self-destruction comment ive read from you in my life on this blog :O it actually seems that you had an AHA moment :D good to see that ;)
Hey John,
It's not about the reaction people get, it's about learning how to deal with rejection. Doing this type of thing, you're being rejected every few seconds so you develop the attitude of "ok, they didn't respond...who's next?" You just learn that rejection isn't a total failure and disaster that a lot of guys think it is. Plus you build up that confidence and you start connecting with people easier. Think about it, how often do people start a conversation with strangers? It takes confidence to break the mould and take the initiative.
I went to a London bootcamp once and I had to do an exercise similar to this. I had to stand in the middle of Oxford St which is the busiest shopping street in London, possibly in Europe and try to give away a ratty t-shirt!
So I took this T-shirt, walked into the middle of the pavement with the rest of the group watching, just started shouting like a market trader and offering this T-shirt to everyone walking past and it was the same thing, people didn't respond, people didn't look at me, people were practically walking in the middle of the street to avoid a crazy man shouting but it took no more than 5 mins before an older lady stopped and took it for her grandson.
Now to be honest I still haven't really become close to any women since that bootcamp because I have some mental hangups about relationships that I'm working out but let me tell you, my social confidence and general comfort talking to women in a friendly manner has gone through the roof!
John,
this to me seems like a (good) exercise for people who are really, really shy and introvert. If you just stand there and say hi, most people will think you are homeless. Either way they don't care, because you look like a total weirdo. You also better not stay at the same location for an extended period of time, because the only thing that you will definitely attract is the London police.
So please do not even think about comparing these guys to you. This tip is for people who just start out. And there are plenty of them.
While in London, I would much rather go to Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park, and start voicing your opinion on something. You might even attract someone for real.
My subject would be: how on Earth is it possible that women, worldwide, have such huge butts ? I bet you that would draw in the feminists, and a lot of guys who are tired of being crushed, literally, by the women they once desired...
This is like when you are 12 years old and your football coach tells you to do 150 jumping jacks. You do it because you want to impress your coach, nothing more. This is a ridiculous example, and useless. How about some real approaches, at Whole foods, by Mr. Wygant, actually approaching a beautiful, young woman, showing technique, body language, confidence, flirting, swagger, and getting a phone number? Hasn't happened since I have been reading and watching, and I don't expect it ever will....I think Wygant is losing it, and can't walk the walk anymore. Saying "howdy" and how's the tuna to an old woman, is getting pretty damn old. Maybe I will show you folks how it is done, as I do it regularly. Now I just need someone to follow me and video it!
Come up here to Cincy Bob. I'll record it.
Show Old Man Wygant how it's done.
I too don't think we'll ever see an actual approach on here. The closest we've come is that video of David asking a girl her dog's name, talking for a second, then leaving.
Saying Hi to every girl who walks by is a fine exercise for guys who have trouble speaking at all, I guess. I don't have any trouble with that though. I'm just really shocked to see Boodoo get the same responses I do.
Bob.. I always hold the door for ladies at stores. They usually just look straight ahead and say "thanks" and keep walking. A lot of the time, they don't even say thanks, or acknowledge that I even held the door for them. (Rude.)
I am interested to see "part 2" of this video, and see what happens to Boodoo inside the store. Maybe we will see an actual approach inside the store. (Probably not. If we ever even see part 2.)
He is getting that type of response because he has not put himself in the correct position to get a positive response. People who randomly pursue you, are usually beggars, Amway salespeople, insurance agents, police, or someone who wants something from you.
Now, if he were to go to a store and happen to open the door for ladies, or be helpful in some way, he would not get that type of response. You can't randomly chase people down saying "Hi", "Howdy", "How's it going" and shit like that without people thinking you are a creep, no matter how you look. People are conditioned to avoid this type of contact through many bad experiences with people chasing them down in the street, like he was doing. There is no observation, or reason for him to be doing this, so of course it bombed.
Think that video is more directed towards to novice readers - it's a great starting point for them Bob, as I think that they might pass out if they were told to approach a woman right away.
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