It’s All About Respect
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Hey Everyone,
This is week #2 of my new Tuesday “Q&A” blog format. If you missed it last week, I am now posting my answers to questions submitted from my newsletter subscribers every Tuesday (one from a man and one from a woman each week).
So if you have not submitted a question and want me to answer something for you, I am accepting questions. The only limitation is that you need to be on my newsletter list to be able to submit a question (It’s a “subscriber-only perk!”)
If you are on my newsletter subscriber list and want to submit a question for me to answer, all you have to do is to respond to any one of the newsletter emails with your question. It’s fun, simple and easy!
If you’re not on my newsletter subscriber list and would like to be, all you need to do is go to the blue box at the upper right hand corner of each page of this website and submit your name and email. It’s that simple! Then as soon as you receive your first newsletter via email, you can submit your question!
Now, let’s move on to today’s questions!
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**Reader Question 1**
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Hey again David!
I know you’ve written that women do not flake on you and you also seem to teach an attitude of not burning bridges or being rude. But what would you do if a woman was to flake or act unnecessarily rude? Many of the other gurus teach to punish her in one way or another. Or most commonly they tell you to call her on it, “You look angry.” Or “I only date women who respect my time.”
I’m assuming that there a just some women that will flake no matter what like there are some who are naturally very moody. How do you deal (or not deal) with these types?
Thanks again!
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**My Answer To Reader 1’s Question**
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This first question is from a man, but I believe this topic pertains equally to women. Well, supposedly a lot of other “gurus” teach men to punish a woman in one way or another for flaking. I don’t think very much of punishing people. It almost sounds like you’re the parent and they’re the child.
Instead of wasting your time “punishing” someone, why not ask yourself why you want to have a relationship with (or even start a relationship with) somebody who doesn’t value your time. Why do you want to have a relationship with somebody whom you need to punish right from the get-go?
It’s about respecting someone’s time. If you’re a flake, it means you don’t respect the person’s time on whom you’re flaking . . . plain and simple. So when I get involved with somebody, it needs to be someone who respects my time. That means that when there are plans set, they keep them.
Why do I want to punish somebody and have to change somebody right from the get-go? Relationships are hard enough without adding problems right at the beginning. Getting to know someone is difficult anyway, so why do I need to be the punisher?
Also, how would this punishing thing look? I’m in a relationship and one night my partner doesn’t come on to me. Does punishing them mean that I would refuse to come on to her the next night? If my girlfriend shows up 25 minutes late for a party, does that mean I’m supposed to punish her by showing up late to one of her events? That’s ridiculous.
If someone flakes on you, it means that you have not intrigued them enough from the beginning. That’s something I talk about in detail in my Men’s Audio Mastery Series.
In that program I go into how to intrigue a woman from the get-go, because I believe when you do that it creates in women a level of excitement to see you so great that they will cancel other plans to do it. If, however, you are with someone to whom you really don’t relate all that well and who was kind of iffy about you from the start, then if they flake on you it means something better came along and you didn’t intrigue them enough.
So, it all comes down to how you meet and connect with people. If you want people to stop flaking on you, you need to connect with them at a higher level when you first meet them. That’s what it’s all about, and what I spend time teaching.
Thanks for the great question!
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**Reader Question 2**
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This second question is from a woman, although again I think the answer pertains to both men and women.
David,
I just came upon your website through Yahoo personals, and I’d like to add one comment on the article you had about succeeding in getting a second date. One bad habit I’ve noticed on several dates was TEXTING incessantly during the date. More than one guy has been guilty of this, and needless to say, when they asked about getting together again, I was “busy”. I’m sure women do this too. It’s just RUDE. Thanks for letting me put my two cents in!
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**My Answer To Reader 2’s Question**
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Here we have someone who has had more than one guy be guilty of texting on a date. This is another great question. Let me tell you something, it’s a little bit of the same issue from the first question: respect. This must be “Respect Tuesday.”
You’re on a date with somebody and, all of a sudden, you’re text “beep” goes off and you return the text message. Basically what you’re doing when you do that is telling the other person “Hey, you know what, you’re not as important as the person I’m texting right now. So I’m going to take a break from our conversation and I’m going to text a friend.”
This is the most rude behavior in the entire world. You are basically telling somebody who is sitting with you that they are not as important as the person who is writing a message to you on your phone.
I think it’s extremely rude. You also come off like you’re giving the person who’s texting you a blow-by-blow account of your date. Unless you’re a doctor on call, you have small children or you have an elderly parent in the hospital, there is no good reason you should ever be texting on a date.
My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and we never text when we go out to dinner. If either of our phones buzz or beep with an incoming text message, whichever one of us is getting the text will immediately cover our phone with our hand and put the phone away. To do otherwise is rude and disrespectful.
It seems like both of today’s questions are all about respect. If you don’t respect the person you’re dating, that indicates some serious character issues and flaws in you. Give the person you’re with your attention . . . you can answer your texts when you get home.
Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
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Marina
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
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