TO CALL OR NOT TO CALL
By The Foxy Blonde

She is back and hopes that all of you are going to help her out with her question.

Readers of DW, I need your advice. I went on a date with a dud. He was good on paper, even had an MD. And he was a solid 7 in the looks department. The problem was his personality: he didn’t have one. I tried so hard to draw him out, but that man had nothing to say. Our 40 minute drinks date felt like three hours. At the DMV. We said goodnight with an awkward hug and what I hoped was a mutual understanding of our total lack of chemistry. So frankly I was surprised to get a phone message from the doctor dud a few days later, inquiring about a second date. I definitely didn’t want to go out with him again. So how did I handle it? I never called him back.

I know that sounds bad. Wimpy and lazy and bad. But there was a method to the madness. There’s a shared theory among my girlfriends that calling a guy back for the sole purpose of rejecting him is actually worse than blowing off his phone call. The rationalization goes like this: If I call back, he will ask me out, and I will have to tell him I don’t want to go on a second date with him. He will be hurt. But if I don’t call him back, his imagination will safeguard him. He is free to dream up any or all of the following self-protective theories:

– “She must have gotten busy at work or gone out of town.”
– “She probably met somebody else.”
– “She’s playing hard to get, and I don’t like games.”
– “What a flake! It never would have worked out with her.”
– And the always popular, “Maybe she never got the message.”

My girlfriends and I, we really believe this – for first dates only – that it’s better for the guy to be left wondering than to face certain rejection. Or at least I did, until I ran into Dr. Dud at a party. Confronted face to face with someone I had treated less than honestly, I felt bad. And he got his revenge, too. Overhearing me making future plans with someone else at the party, he interjected, “Just don’t be surprised if you never hear from her again.”

So before I head out on my next first date, I wanted to get some feedback. If the magic isn’t there after a first date, is it better to be honest (“I’m just not that into you”), tell a little white lie (“I started seeing someone”) or blow off the call completely, as I have done in the past? What’s the best way to handle a dud date?

Todays video is all about how to use the power of your voice when you speak to a woman.