The Sexual Experience Catch-22 By Sultry Brunette

Hope everyone is having a great Sunday!!’

Today we have a podcast that deals with how to accept yourself better in life and how to embrace the journey of whats ahead….without beating yourself up.

So i thought i would share with you a great post from a woman who really wants to change how people perceive her sexually.

She wants to open up her sexual energy and needs a bit of everyones help.

Enjoy your day and without further buildup here is our long lost friend the Sultry Brunette.

Thanks David and hello everyone……Ok i am just going to ramble and let it all out!!

In the job market, there is always the “experience catch-22,” i.e., that frustrating and seemingly illogical roadblock into which so many job seekers run wherein potential employers only want to hire people with experience . . . but you can’t get experience until someone will hire you.

Something similar occurs if you are trying to switch areas within your own field. If you have a lot of experience in one area, it can be virtually impossible to get an employer to hire you to work in a different area within your field.

Once again that frustrating and seemingly paradoxical question emerges: How do you get experience when you have to already have it to be considered for the job?? Or, how do you show that you are capable of being as proficient in a different area as you are in the one in which you currently work?

It’s almost as if your resume has branded you for life: You are stamped with the scarlet letters “Inexperienced” or “Experienced ONLY In …” It’s an experience catch-22 . . . it seems like you’re damned if you do (have experience and want to branch out) and you’re damned if you don’t (have experience and want to get some).

You are probably wondering at this point what all of this possibly has to do with dating and David’s blog. Well, hopefully what comes next will do that.

I believe this “experience paradox” in the arena of work is also present in the area of sex. As a long-time fan of this blog, I have read so many comments from men (including David) about what kind of woman they want sexually . . . and I can’t help but notice a very frustrating theme: Men seem to attach a certain “sexual identity” to a woman based solely upon what type of sexual experience that woman has had in the past.

What I mean by this is that men seem to stamp a permanent and unchangeable sexual identity on a woman based on what she has (or has not) done sexually in her past. For instance, men will identify a woman as “kinky” or “wild” or “adventurous” or “open” or “comfortable with herself” if she has a lot of volume or variety in her sexual past.

A woman who hasn’t had a lot of partners and is somewhat inexperienced is automatically bestowed by men with the sexual identity of “shy” or “conservative” or “not wild.” The same thing goes for a woman of any volume of sexual experience who is inexperienced in terms of … variety. She is given the sexual identity of an “unadventurous” or “conservative” or “not free” kind of woman.

This is where I believe the “sexual experience paradox” exists. What if you are (for whatever reasons circumstantially) a woman who is inexperienced in terms of either volume or variety . . . BUT you are not a prude and you are desirous of being sexually adventurous?

I can tell you, getting that “position” is nearly impossible! Once men learn what you’ve been sexually, there is no convincing them that you truly are or desire to be anything else.

It’s the “sexual experience catch-22” . . . Men who say they want a woman to be sexually adventurous seem to believe that only women who already have experience being sexually adventurous can successfully fill the “position.”

If you are not currently experienced in that “area,” men brand you with the permanent and unshakable identity of being a sexually unadventurous woman or a prude or sexually conservative . . . and there seems to be no way to be given even the chance to interview for that “position.”

To men, it seems that they believe if you haven’t done something, it is because you are not open to doing it or you are not the kind of girl who would want to do it. This is a mistaken assumption as it relates to a lot of women!

Just like with trying to switch into a different area within your occupation, trying to broaden your sexual experience seems nearly impossible when men only hire women whom they identify as already being a certain kind of woman sexually.

There is no consideration for a potential candidate’s desire to have that position. There is no on-the-job training or internships offered.

There are no points given for aptitude, willingness to learn, a good work ethic or proficiency and talent in other areas of that field. There is also no consideration for the fact that your past employer only offered jobs in one “position” or that you loyally and successfully filled that position for a long time.

So what’s a girl to do who is ready to “branch out” sexually? Oh sure, you can try to fake your way through the interview process – I think in the work arena it’s called “dressing for the job you want” – and hope you can fool the interviewer long enough to be able to get the job.

I was hoping, though, that by writing this blog I could open up the job market a little more to those of us who are looking for these positions but can’t convince you men to let us interview for those jobs. Consider that sometimes the person who doesn’t bring any “bad habits” to the workplace becomes the most ideal employee because you get to train her to do the job exactly the way you want it done.