stuck in the friend zoneThe friend zone. It’s one of the most feared and dreaded word in the dating world. It’s almost like you can hear horror movie style music going, “Ba ba ba ba” and then in huge black letters it says, “The friend zone is coming!”

It’s something we all dread. It’s something we all hate. It means rejection. It means your date isn’t attracted to you. It means you’re not going to get what you want. Now, I’m going to challenge you to do something, before I give you a whole new way to look at the friend zone. Here we go. Think about all the people who put you in the friend zone over the years. Go on. I dare you. Make a list of all the ones you can remember. You probably forgot most of them because life moves on and you don’t dwell in the past (do you?!)

So, look at the names you can remember, and think about how you felt when they slammed you in that friend zone. Now, forget all those negative emotions. Let them go. They no longer matter. I’m about to change the way you think about the friend zone forever. This could very well change your life. Let’s say you go on a date with a guy. He’s really cool, and you like him, but you’re just not feeling it. At the end of the date he looks at you and says, “I had so much fun with you today.”

You look at him and say, “Me too.”

Then go your separate ways. He’s under the impression you guys have some chemistry, and he’s excited because he likes you. He figures he has a chance with you because most guys are so bad at figuring out chemistry. They all think every date has gone great and most the time they haven’t. Then he asks you out again. You tell him you’re busy and it all kinds of fizzles out. A month later, he tries again, and once again, you put him off. Now whenever you’re out you have to play hide and seek in case you run into him. You see him, you duck. He sees you and gives you a dirty look. This goes on for months and months.

Here’s the thing. He was a cool guy. You got on well with him. You just weren’t attracted to him. So what should you have done differently? Let’s go back to when the date ended. He told you he had a great time with you. What you should have done was to look at him and say, “Me too. I’d love to be friends with you because you’re a cool guy. I have to admit I don’t feel I have what I need to take this further romantically, but I’d love to hang out if you’re cool with that.”

He’ll be disappointed. He may even be a bit angry, but he’s going to respect you a whole lot more than he would have done. At least now, when you’re out there and you run into each other there won’t be any bad feelings. Maybe you’ll hang out together and introduce each other to your friends. Maybe you’ll find love with one of his friends, and him with one of yours.

It’s so much better being honest with a guy. You didn’t make him chase you. You didn’t give him false hope. You didn’t make him think he had a chance with you. Do you see how powerful the friend zone can be when you use it to your advantage?

The more people you have in your “zone” the bigger your network is, and the more chance you have of meeting someone you click with. Don’t be afraid of the friend zone. Use it. Embrace it, and you never know who you’ll meet within your network of friends. Welcome to your new world of the friend zone!