1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.
I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.
Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.
For a long time I allowed negative thoughts to slowly take over the way I perceived my life. I was my own worse enemy. It was only when I was finally sick of how I saw the world,people around me,and myself, that I realized I needed to escape the dark place I was living in.
I took a conscious decision to change my thought patterns The process only took a couple of weeks. But what an amazing fundamental change happened to me. It was like a bright warm light being switched on. I started to feel better about myself, and those around me.
That was many years ago. That light still sometimes flickers, but it's still bright!
When we say we can't do something, basically that means we do not want to do the thing because of fear.
When I catch myself saying " i can't do ...", I immediately ask myself "How can I be so sure if I haven't even tried the thing out"?
Sure, we all get a little nervous when we have to do a new thing.
It's all about taking baby steps and getting to your desired goal.
A cousin of mine once said:"If you take action, you always win, regardless of your outcome. But....if you do not take action for whatever excuse you might have, you will lose".
It's all about the process and getting to the destination.
my question is you say you should look at a women till she looks away, my thinking is, why do some not look away for such along time, what are they thinking during this stare off if u like, cos they obviously havnt been told 2 stare till he looks away like he has, kim (female) ur prospective on this would be good!
my question is you say you should look at a women till she looks away, my thinking is, why do some not look away for such along time, what are they thinking during this stare off if u like, cos they obviously havnt been told 2 stare till he looks away like he has, kim (female) ur prospective on this would be good!
Millions of years of evolution has caused us to be afraid of the unfamiliar, and unknown. If we struck out a million years ago to try to climb a tree, or chase our prey into a cave, we could well die from a larger nemesis awaiting, unkown to us. Like the horses I train, they start out afraid, and their natural instink is to bolt, kick, or bite at me, when saddling them for the first time. They must, over time, be conditioned to new circumstances, in the proper caring, and compassionate techniques, to overcome their fear. It is the same with us. We have to learn if our goals we want to accomplish in life is commensurable, by weighing the positives, and negative consequences of the attempt. If we feel the positive results overcome whatever negative consequences may result, then we have to have the courage to attempt them. That is how you move ahead and grow in life. But first, you have to learn to know which goals you want to acieve, are worth persuing, and which are not.
It's never too late to change, set goals, and work towards having the lives we want to have. We have control of OUR lives. They're OURS. We're the commanders in chief of OUR lives(see David's inaugeration video and watch it every morning. It changed my life!) Yesterday was yesterday and the new dating prospect you meet today or tomorrow isn't going to stop you and say "hey, wait a second.. weren't you nervous approaching the girl at Whole Foods yesterday? Didn't you strike out with the girl at the beach just after your girlfriend dumped you? I would date you, but didn't you get let go three jobs ago? Why are you talking to me.. you're the nervous guy, remember?" We can control how the interactions go with the prospects of today and tomorrow. Am I approaching and meeting women as the guy who got rejected last week or as the confident guy who is evaluating dating prospects because I have choices in life? We can't necessarily control how the prospect is going to react, but we can certainly present ourselves in a way that likely will provoke a positive response. It's our call.
So, my perception of life: It's MINE! I can control my thoughts. I can simply wait and hope for things to happen to me (too many wasted years doing this), or I can think and act in ways to shape my future in a positive way.
I always try to perceive things, as they are now; not how I want them to be. This has given me great power to make change, as I always see things as they are. It keeps your mind from tricking you into thinking your reality is something other than it is.
Last year I was in a bad relationship and miserable at my job. I was a glass half empty kinda guy. One year later, after doing alot of self improvement and learning to better myself, I've got a dream job and my dating life is considerably better. My outlook is completely different and it is making all the difference. The sweet isn't as sweet without the sour...what a difference a year makes!
In my experience, "I can't" has often meant "I won't," which was due to fear. I have actually been afraid of success. That might sound silly to some people, but it happens. However, I have taken steps to change that and have had some amazing results. Things are different for me now than they were few years ago because I came to realize what I was missing out on. Although things can still be difficult, those self doubts have diminished considerably.
"If you say you can't do something is that based on fact or fear?" Well, most of the things we think we can't do, we actually can't do. If it is "fall upwards", "climb Everest" or "do a PhD in chemical engineering" the answer would be no, but not because I'm afraid of these things but because of factual circumstances out of my control. Yes, yes I know, this first paragraph is trivial and pedantic.
But what you're probably driving at is the interesting class of things in social situations in which the line between 'can't' and 'won't' blurs. For example, "talk to a beautiful stranger". "Try a new skill". "Do something really worthwhile but difficult." The hinterland of the human experience of the uncertain.
I personally take a pride in extending my comfort zone and find it very empowering to do so. My life over the past 3 years has been all about taking down hurdles, proving to myself that I can cope with stuff or do stuff, getting rid of fear. It's amazing. If life is made all about pushing one's comfort zone out, it is at worst short-term pain and at best short-term excitement, but always long term gain, and ultimately it is part of what makes life exciting and fulfilling. EXAMPLE 2 days ago my poor dad did a presentation to a group of his colleagues at work and (unlike me) he was incredibly worried about it beforehand - but he did it, did a fantastic job and in the last couple of days has been the happiest I've seen him in a while. I recommend this breaking down your own personal barriers thing.
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