The other day I was heading into my favorite Indian place, Akbar on Washington. I’m walking slowly, just enjoying the night. I’d just finished getting a massage.

As I am approaching the entrance, there is a guy standing there holding one of the doors open (and blocking the entrance) as he is talking to friends of his who just drove up (thus making him face in my direction).

So here I am, clearly walking toward the door to the restaurant, and I know he sees me, but yet he still just stands there blocking the doorway and doesn’t move. I look at him and I say, “Excuse me.” He looked up like he didn’t realize there was actually anyone near him.

This kind of total lack of self-awareness when you’re out and about is the reason why so many of you have so much difficulty meeting people. Every time I coach a man on observations, I tell him to observe the world around him and then I take a look at what he tells me he sees. It’s amazing how many things a lot of guys miss.

You’ve got to take in the world around you. I’m not talking about when you’re in the middle of talking to someone so that your eyes are darting all over the place. There is a way, however, to tune into the world.

If you’re blocking a door, have a sense of self-awareness. Maybe there is someone coming and you can hold the door open and connect with another person. When you’re in the market and you’re looking at people, have a better sense of awareness and look at the big picture.

So many people don’t look at the whole big picture at all. They are so focused on whatever the project or task at hand is, that they tend to miss all the opportunities.

Self-awareness is one of the best ways to become powerful at meeting people. Self-awareness, and meeting people by really feeling their presence, is the way to truly connect with the world. Once you become in touch with everybody around you and you start recognizing emotions and opportunities, you’ll start seeing things differently and the world will become slower for you.

The world is very slow for me. When I go out and about and I talk to people, I can see the conversations before I even have them.

It’s not that I’m thinking particularly about what is going to be said, because I always remain present when I’m talking to someone. I can, however, see walking over and experiencing that conversation because I feel it. I see things so slowly, and everything is broken down for me slowly.

Can I Have A Bite Of That Apple

So if I see a woman in the market looking at apples and sniffing them in a certain way, I know she is experiencing the essence of the fruit. I know exactly to walk over there with a smile and say, “You’re really enjoying that apple.” I know I’ve tapped into her energy because I’ve paid attention to the world around me. It really does not matter what you say as long as it pertains to what is going on in her world at that present moment.

By doing that, I am able to have an amazing conversation and create an amazing connection. That is why I tell all the men and women I coach to be totally tuned into the world. It allows you to actually see conversations unfold before they happen. You don’t know exactly what the conversations are going to be about, but they are going to unfold before your eyes.

So wake up and be perceptive of everything around you. Walk around and start noticing things around you that you’ve never noticed before. Pay attention to the smaller details of life, and you will not only be more successful in dating but also in life.