The whole point of a relationship is not to come up with some victim story about how it ended and why it ended.

The power of relationships is to look at the lesson so you don’t repeat it.

I know a lot of people who walk around and have the victim story of a relationship. No matter what their ex-partner told them, they don’t hear it. They don’t want to hear their truth. So they like to come up with a neat little story about why the relationship ended, and it usually is a story based on them being the victim.

The person didn’t want them.

The person didn’t want the family life.

It’s just a pure victim story and what’s sad is that people who have the victim story tend to go on to a relationship and have a same result as the last time.

I’m going to tell you a story about my friend — and I changed her name for a reason, because if she’s reading, she’ll still deny that it’s her in this story. So for the hell of it, let’s call her Kate.

Kate is a woman in her 40’s.

She’s pretty and she’s nice to anybody who is a female.

But when it comes to men, Kate is missing the valuable lessons that have been supplied to her by her past relationships.

Kate’s in a new relationship right now, and she is as big of a ball buster as she’s ever been.

The new man that she’s with is sweet and he’s nice. He’s got a tender heart and he loves her. But she can’t resist taking pot shots at him on a daily basis, and busting his balls.

As Kate says, it’s who she is, it is her personality and she says it with a laugh.

Whenever I look at Kate, I think to myself, she really can’t be that un-evolved.

A couple of boyfriends ago, somebody left her and he left her because she was not treating him the way he needed to be treated.

Somewhere along Kate’s life, she learned that busting a man and putting him down makes her feel good. I’ll bet you Kate doesn’t even realize why she does it.

See, it comes from her mom. She probably witnessed her mom do that to men, so now Kate is doing that to men now based on the behavior she learned as a kid.

The man who left her, the father of her three children, left because — in Kate’s world — he no longer wanted the family.

But I know the man well. And he told me over and over again the real reason why he left is because he didn’t want to be around a woman that busted his balls, he didn’t want his kids to see that. He wanted his kids to see the strong man that he is.

He desired to have his children see a man that got respect and love from a woman. See, to him, love was never about being sarcastic or busting his balls. Love to him is about being loving and affectionate and open and having communication.

But Kate is somebody who never does and never gets therapy. She works on herself with herself, so she only hears herself and never really gets to the deeper work. Kate busts men’s balls. She enjoys it.

Unfortunately, the biggest sad thing in the world is that Kate hasn’t learned her lesson.

Not only that, but Kate also thinks she’s the greatest mom in the entire world. In reality, she’s a great mom when it comes down to activities and listening to their kid, playing with their kid, and being with their kid. But Kate is teaching her two daughters and her son the worst lesson of all: the lesson of how to treat a man poorly.

The lesson on how to bust a man’s balls.

The lesson on how to criticize a man.

I’m sure Kate’s daughters will just be joyous to date in the future.

Because Kate is programming them in ways that they don’t deserve to be programmed, because Kate can’t look outside herself. Because Kate chooses to be the victim in her story. Her ex-husband left her because he no longer wanted them, so she’s all about them.

But in reality, Kate — and I’ve said it to her many times — he left because he told you over and over again that he couldn’t handle your ball busting, micro-manage tendencies and putting him down. It wasn’t healthy for him at all.

So Kate’s with a new man, and guess what she’s doing? She’s doing the same thing all over again.

The new man is putting up with it now because the relationship is fairly new.

So he’s just putting up with it right now. Because he loves her. But eventually that love is going to wear off and he’s going to see the real Kate. He’s going to see a woman’s who’s critical of every move he makes. He’s going to see a woman who bust his balls and eventually this man (unless he is a complete pussy) will wake up and start fighting back. Now Kate, who never thinks she’s done anything wrong ever, will basically defend herself by saying beautiful things like, It’s just the way that I am.

Kate doesn’t want to take responsibility at all. But the fact is that one man left her because he couldn’t stand having his balls busted at all. No matter how much he spoke to her or how many things he said to her, she didn’t get it.

And Kate, because she stays in victim mode, isn’t getting it now. So Kate’s probably going to ruin this relationship and I’m sure she’ll come up with another victim story. A neat little story that she will have to basically explain why this man left, too. Unless this man is a masochist and really enjoys being criticized. And having his balls busted.

It’s sad when I see women like Kate or men like that. They never learnt the lesson from the relationship. They would rather stay in the story of the relationship instead of actually seeing what their part was in that relationship. But what really is sad to me is this shitty behavior of how Kate looks at men through her programming, because she’s probably not fully aware of it yet, and how she’s passing it on to her two beautiful daughters teaching her son that you get your balls busted in order to be loved.

Maybe, when Kate gets older and mellows out, she will actually see the damage she is doing. But until then, Kate lives in her me, me, me world. And it’s all about her and she doesn’t see how her actions are affecting others.

And the really sad thing is, she’s not taking responsibility for her life at all. A beautiful lesson was presented to her when her husband walked out on her. But she didn’t look at the lesson. She decided to play victim. Look at the lessons in life, because that is what the universe is delivering every day: valuable, amazing lessons. Stop ignoring them. And stop repeating the same mistakes over and over again.