what a toxic relationship looks likeI’m going to admit something here that I don’t normally admit to my readers.

I’ve been in a toxic relationship. And I have to tell you something: it is one of the worst feelings you can have.

You’re with somebody who could really care less about satisfying you on a deep emotional level. They’re not what you love and what you need. So you literally walk around feeling empty all the time. What happens in these so-called toxic relationships is that you tend to rationalize everything that they’re doing.

Let’s go deeper into that. You talk to your friends, and you know those conversations with friends as endless circular talks about the toxic relationship you’re in.

Why they can’t love you a certain way.

Why they don’t listen to you.

How many times have you tried to rephrase things to get them to understand you, but they just don’t understand it? So you spend hours, months, days, years talking to people trying to figure it out. In reality, once in a toxic relationship, just like in a toxic waste, the longer you space in the more cancerous it becomes.

There is no cure for toxic.

Google the definition of toxicity. You are not going to cure toxicity at all. As a matter of fact, you’re going to waste so much of your precious time and you’re going to get more frustrated. Which in turn, is going to make you bitter and anger. So when a great person shows up, you’ll be so beaten up from the toxic relationship, you won’t even know what to do.

So what is the biggest sign? First off, the communication is usually terrible in a toxic relationship. No matter what you say to that person, you can’t seem to get through to them.

For instance, let’s say you’re with somebody who’s not that loving and not that affectionate.

It’s just not their thing.

They think their loving. They think their affectionate. But it’s not on the level that you need.

Your love tank is not filled at all. You feel like they don’t love you because their not speaking the language of love. What you’re all about.

So what you do is start asking and getting frustrated, because toxic relationships are extremely frustrating relationships. So you start communicating and trying to get out your needs, wants and desires to that person.

They hear you, but they don’t hear you.

They think their way. They figure if you’ve been in this relationship as long as you have with them, they’ve been doing something right. So they don’t do anything about it.

The pure definition of a toxic relationship is having the same type of conversations over and over again. No matter how much therapy you have, no matter how many conversations you’ve had with friends, if you continually having the same conversation and getting the same nothing results from the relationship and nothing is changes, you’re in a toxic relationship.

That person doesn’t understand you on some very deep, core emotional level. Nor will they ever.

Yet, every single day people stay in these relationships. One more talk, one more thing. You’ll do what your friend Betty said or what your friend Joe said. You’ll try something different.

You’re going to understand because you’ve invested time in this person. And that’s a huge mistake, because every time you take the stance that you’ve invested time, you’ll actually double the time that you’ve already invested trying to make that person understand you that doesn’t understand, that doesn’t want to be in the same type of a relationship as you.

Does that make sense? Think about it. You’re in relationship for three years, and you say to yourself, “man, I’ve invested three years in this person.” So you continue to argue, you continue to have discussions that go nowhere, and because you’ve invested three times. So what happens is, double that time.

You’ll have spent six years in a bad relationship that you should have been in for a year. You do so because you think that because you invested time, you’re going to get somebody to change. In reality, they haven’t heard you because they choose not to hear you.

The person hears everything you’re saying, but they choose not to do it. And that is the true definition of a toxic relationship. The person is making a choice not to do the things, not to love you the way that you need. So get out, before it’s too late.