I had interesting conversation with a good friend of mine the other day.

We talked about what it’s like to be aging as a man.

And specifically, we talked about what it’s like to be aging as a man when it comes down to relationships and dating.

When I was a young guy in my 20’s and 30’s and even 40’s, I suffered from the disease called wow, she’s so hot — I have to have her.

There was so much testosterone, and there was so much debate between my penis and my head that my heart tended to be swayed by whatever story was being created in my head, and whatever dream was being created in my penis.

I used to look at a woman that was so hot and I would say to myself, I want her. I have to have her. I need to have her. She needs to be my girlfriend.

And I would pursue. Man, I was good at pursuing.

I would pursue somebody until they were mine.

Because, you see, once that feeling came over me, there was no stopping me at all. I didn’t see warning signs, I didn’t see anything. I was just so caught up with the testosterone drive of being a man and conquering a woman and making that woman mine.

And I had many women that I made mine, and I had many relationships. And none of them really panned out. They did for a time in periods of my life. And for every relationship that I’ve ever had, I’m very honored and happy that I met those people and learned about them and a couple lessons that I needed. But it was really interesting the other day. We were talking, my friend and I, and I said, no longer is my penis saying wow, she’s so hot.

You see, I’ve been dating beautiful women my whole life, so it’s not like really anything is different. But the big difference now is I am seeking character. I’m allowing women to show up literally in front of me.

I let them present themselves, and I get to know them, be it in text messaging or going out with them or meeting up with them in a group of friends. I’m taking my time.

They’re all beautiful in my eyes, and my testosterone and my penis is happy because eventually when I learn all about their character for the first time ever, we’ll all be working together. You see, my penis doesn’t want to jump into bed with them so fast anymore.

Because, well, my penis has controlled too many things and too many mistakes have been made.

And now it really is all about character. It’s all about their character. Who they are, what they’re about, where they’re at in their life, what makes them happy, what makes them sad, how they handle things. I’m literally looking at their character every single day. Every time I meet them, every time I hang out with them. It’s really amazing, and it’s actually a beautiful thing to be a part of. Because, for the first time ever, I’m actually dating the right way.

You see, character is everything in somebody. That person can be hot, and believe me we’ve all been duped by the hot one. But what are you looking for? You’re looking for somebody that’s got great character. Somebody that you can rely on every single day. Somebody who’s going to be your best friend. Somebody who’s going to be there for you. And the only person that’s ever going to be there for you is somebody who has a lot of character. Somebody who has great character.

So dating has changed for me. And I’m real happy the way it’s changed. I’m happy to be searching out character first.

The big lesson is not to be driven by testosterone and not to be driven by primal instincts. Now I’m actually probably more in my heart space instead of my head space and my little head space. It’s all about character for me. It’s kind of a peaceful place.