key to happinessOpen, honest, raw, authentic communication…

These are the keys to everything in life. When I was three and a half years old, my brother passed away. He was nine months old.  The lack of communication that ensued afterward changed the course of my family. When my brother passed away we never discussed it as a family. I was three and a half. Why talk about it with a three and a half year old?

When I came home from my grandmother’s house, the night after the funeral, I looked at my mother and said, “Mark is dead.”

That was the only communication we had about it for years. My mother and father had horrific communication. My mother went into a depression that lasted the majority of my life. Things would have been different for my mom if there had been open communication. Communication isn’t always easy, but it is the key to happiness.

In order to get your needs, wants, and desires met in any type of relationship, whether from work or love or friendship, you need to communicate. In order to get the best deals in life, you need to communicate.  In order to do anything in life, you need to communicate and that’s where a lot of people have problems.

Verbal communication is only one form of communication. Some of you may express yourself better in writing, and some with touch. Whatever form of communication you use make sure it is authentic. Authentic, raw communication is a communication style all of you need to start practicing on a daily basis. When you practice raw, authentic communication, you’re not going to leave anything inside.

There’s going to be no anxiety. No tension, nothing. Most of us have trouble with raw, authentic communication because we’re afraid to speak our truth. Why are we afraid to speak our truth?

Because we live in a time driven by outcome based results. We’re afraid to ask things. We’re afraid to tell people things, because we’re afraid the outcome will not be what we want it to be. So in turn, we go on mute, or silent mode. Think about that. When we don’t speak our mind we’re setting up for a life based on lies. When you speak your mind you’re leaving life on the table.

Whatever happened, whatever confrontation you’re afraid of getting into, you need to be open about it right off the bat. Confrontation is going to happen one way or the other. If something is bothering you better to deal with it quickly. Once you rip off the band-aide, it’s over with. The build up is the worst part. But we try so hard to manipulate the outcome. We practice the relationships, we practice what we’re going to say so often we forget there’s another person involved. We forget that our friends and family have lives and agendas of their own.

We forget they have the capacity to surprise us. We think we know them so well, we often don’t give them a chance to react to the information we give. We assume we know their feelings and in order to avoid confrontation we keep are own feelings buried deep. You’re afraid of being the problem. But your feelings are valid. Your partner, brother, sister, coworker deserves to know what’s going on in your mind.

This is how a relationship grows and strengthens. See, our truth will give us an outcome that we never expected. Not speaking will give us an outcome that’s based on anxiety — fear-based.  You’re going to leave the results that could’ve potentially happened, off the table. I want all of you to make a commitment to yourself, and to me, that you’re going to start to speaking your authentic truth.  Your authentic truth is the only way to live.

It’s scary at times, because it means saying things that might be difficult to say.  It might mean that you may need to express your feelings before another person is ready. It might mean that the person you’re with may not feel the same way. So instead of pretending everything is okay, you actually are going to start to live that authentic truth.  It’s a beautiful thing to be able to experience. It’s very powerful.

It’s raw and you’ll need to practice on a daily basis. I know when I do speak my authentic truth, sometimes it leaves me a little choked up inside.  Sometimes I feel a little tense. Sometimes I feel a little anxiety. But in the end, everything is always okay, because it’s where it’s supposed to be. That’s how you earn an authentic ending, an authentic relationship, an authentic life you’re making a commitment to be your best self.

We’re doing of these types of workshops this year.  It’s called Love Blueprint.  It’s about speaking, learning how to communicate, through authentic truth. Here’s the link; find out more about it.  It’s going to be a powerful co-ed workshop where I can teach you step by step how to live an authentic life. The keys to life are not easy to obtain, but once you’ve got them no one can take them from you.