As most of you know, I don’t really drink. So I didn’t wake up this morning with an alcohol-related hangover, but I did wake up this morning with a holiday weekend hangover.

You take six days off work, and when you wake up the first morning you’re going back to work you are pissed. You’re pissed not because you’re going back to work, but because you’re just not ready for the barrage of emails, that first stupid question of the day . . . or even for oatmeal. That is what I call the holiday weekend hangover.

All of us know exactly how this feels. It’s the worst kind of feeling in the world, especially for people in this country who don’t get enough vacation time. Can you imagine how it is in Europe? How does that holiday hangover feel after being off of work for the entire month of August?

It’s really not fun. I’ll tell you, though, at least you’re in one piece and an affair didn’t bite you in the ass.

When are professional athletes, actors and politicians going to get it? What do they need to get a wakeup call? How many more of them have to die with their dicks in their hand to finally realize, “Hmmm…I’m a high profile person, so maybe I shouldn’t be cheating on my wife with a hot-tempered 20 year old.”

I was a huge Steve McNair fan. He was a battler and a competitor. He did great things for the community. Hanging out with a woman from Dave & Busters when you have four kids, however, isn’t a great move.

They are calling his death a homicide. They are not calling Sahel Kazemi’s death a homicide. Hmmm, can we put the pieces together ourselves? We’ll wait for the Nashville Police Department to tell us it was a murder-suicide.

It just really bothers me, the idea of someone deciding they have the power to take someone’s life. I’m not going to sit here and talk about handgun control, when really it could be as simple as penis control.

Cheating can kill you. Forget smoking. I’ve said it before and I’ve said it many times: If you’re not happy in a relationship, man up before you go sticking your penis in another woman’s volatile vagina.

We’ve all heard about women being scorned and seen enough of them get even. How many penises need to be bitten off, and how many men need to be blackmailed or murdered, before you realize that cheating doesn’t pay.

Now, don’t even get me started this morning on prescription drugs. Gee, I think I’m going to take a drug so powerful that when most humans take it they have an anesthesiologist administer it. What are some people thinking?

The world lost two very unique people who made some stupid decisions. I believe everything has a lesson. Learn from these lessons.

Maybe you’re not popping highly addictive pharmaceutical drugs, but maybe you have some other vice that’s slowly killing you. Maybe you’re in a relationship that’s not working and you’re thinking about sticking your penis elsewhere.

Pay attention to the deaths of Michael Jackson and Steve McNair. So many people think these kind of things can never happen to them. I’m sure Michael Jackson and Steve McNair did not imagine their outcomes.

Today’s message, if you don’t already know what it is, is to pay attention to the warning signs and to stop thinking you’re invincible. It could be as simple as to stop texting while you’re driving, because let me assure you that you will eventually get into an accident if you don’t.

It could be your attitude toward alcohol. You might think, “It’s just wine” but have you ever heard the term “wino?” You might be cheating and think she’ll never find out, but you never know what kind of woman you’re cheating with and what she might do.

So, once again, this holiday weekend hangover is brutal! Does anyone got a prescription for it?