Get your ex backAre you still thinking about your ex? Do you still wonder what could have been? Hoping that maybe it will work out someday. Let me share with you the only way you’ll ever get your ex back.

Back in 1997, I had a business, and I had a couple of partners. One of the partners wasn’t exactly the most authentic, honest person around. He wrote some bad checks, and ended up stealing a lot of money from the business.

I was angry. I was totally pissed off to be honest. I ended up going out of business, and when I did, I ended up going to a lawyer to fix it. I had roughly $20,000 left to my name, and seriously bad credit. I sat down and told him the situation.

He told me what me future looked like, and then he told me something really interesting. He told me I could spend the $20,000 chasing this guy for my money, and some of my credit. The problem was, there was no guarantee I’d get my money back, and I could lose my last $20,000 and a ton of energy chasing him. In the end, I told him not to bother chasing the guy. I decided I’d start again. I’d rebuild my credit, and I’d make my money back myself. The lawyer looked at me and said, “No charge for today. I wish more of my clients were as smart as you are.”

We shook hands and I left. That to me, is how you get your ex back. Ahhh!

“What are you talking about David? How does that story help me get my ex back?”

It’s simple. I’m sure there were a ton of broken heart moments, disappointments, and upsets between you and your ex. I’m sure you could sit there and rehash everything. And sometimes it probably feels good to tell somebody how badly your ex let you down. It’s natural because you need to get it off your chest. It’s healthy to do that. Don’t get me wrong. But it’s unhealthy to keep doing it over and over again. Most of us go back over the relationship repeatedly. In reality, the only way you’re ever going to get your ex back is to start fresh. Yes, I suggest you get it all off your chest. Shout, cry, and talk openly to your ex about how upset you are about your breakup. Let it all out. Be honest about everything with each other.

Then forget about it. Make a promise to yourself to start fresh. Apologize to your ex for the things you did wrong in your relationship, and let them know you’re open to a new start. Literally, start dating them again. See if you connect as new people. The minute you think backwards, the minute you go into story mode, you’ll never see the new person standing in front of you.

In fact, until you forget what went wrong, you’ll never be able to move forward. You can’t move forward until you stop looking backwards. Stay in the present, because it’s all we have. If you want to get back with your ex, and they’re open to giving things another go, you have to let go of the past. Look at them as if you’ve never met them before. Look at them as someone you have to get to know all over again. Sure, if they haven’t changed, or they start to let you down in all the old ways, you can say, “You know what. You haven’t changed. You haven’t grown, and this isn’t going to work.”

But you have to give them the benefit of the doubt and start fresh. It’s hard to let go, and I know for some of us it’s even harder. Our ego can’t handle it. You want to your ex to hear you. Let me tell you, they’ve already heard you. If they’re even entertaining another relationship with you, they already know what they’ve done. If they admit they did wrong, what more can they do to make you happy? Not much right?

So if you really want your ex back, you have to do it with a clean slate. It’s the only way a new relationship will work. If you stay on the old broken road, you won’t move forward. Stay in the present, look at the new person in front of you, and date them as if you’ve never met them. See what happens.

They might just surprise you.