A blog on taking advantage of opportunities by David Wygant

The other day I was at Whole Foods with Daphne. For all of you who don’t know Daphne, she is my black English Labrador. I was sitting outside at a table, mildly enjoying my lunch. I eat there all the time on account of the fact that I don’t cook. Because I eat there so much, I’ve actually been getting a little sick of the food there and so I’ve been cycling through the prepared dinners.

So I’m sitting at a table, and there’s a woman sitting with her back to me at a nearby table. The truth is that I really wasn’t in the mood right then to try and open her up and to flirt with her. There are times when you really don’t feel like flirting, and that’s perfectly OK.

I finished eating, and Daphne and I got up to walk away. There was a guy trying to get signatures for homeless shelters, so I signed that and then got in my car and drove home.

The very next day I was walking to an appointment, and I saw that same woman sitting in a different cafe. So I had to go over there and say hello. I walked over to her and I said “Two days in a row . . .” (pointing out the obvious of course) “. . . are we on the same lunch schedule?” Once again, opening her up and pointing out something that’s obvious by saying I saw her the day before is an easy way to start a conversation.

We proceeded to talk for about ten minutes. Then I told her I had to run to a meeting, but asked if I could meet her the next day for lunch. I figured why not three days in a row? She said she had no problem meeting me for lunch, but also told me she has a boyfriend. I then made a joke about it and said “Why don’t you bring him . . . he can pay for lunch.” So what’s the moral of this whole story?

The moral of the story is this: Guys think that in order to flirt with a woman, they need to flirt with her based on some rehearsed opener. In reality, however, the best openers come from stating the obvious and paying attention to what’s going on around you.

Women smell bad openers a mile away. There’s actually quite a few so called pick up artists who teach a whole ridiculous methodology based upon teaching men how to be something they’re not. It’s almost like a step-by-step instructional guide of memorized routines with no follow-up to make real connections.

It’s funny. Men are always looking for “perfect” openers, when in reality the perfect opener is paying attention to what’s going on so you can have a conversation based upon what’s happening in the moment.

If you pay attention to what’s happening in the moment, you’ll have real connections with women and real follow-up. By staying present and paying attention to what’s going on around you, your approach when speaking with women is natural. The natural approach puts women at ease.

Guys who follow instruction manuals tend to make women a little nervous, because women want you to be present and they want to know what the person they’re talking to is all about. If they were looking for a performing clown, they’d go to the circus.

Women are looking for a guy who can have a conversation with them and intrigue them based on his real personality. The art of really being able to connect with women is learning how to observe and listen, so you’re able to start meeting women who are intrigued by you.

If you want to live this “natural” lifestyle, Volume II of my Men’s Audio Mastery Series teaches you the art of connecting with women wherever you go based upon making simple observations. For the guys out there who still think you need to be a performing monkey to get women intrigued, I wish you lots of luck.