flaky woman datingThe other night one of my coaches, Alex, had a first date. He met this woman at Café Gratitude. They talked, they connected, and he liked her. They hung out for a while, and being the man you all want who isn’t scared of taking control, he said, “I had a great time. Let’s go out again on Monday night.”

How great is that?

He arranged a second date right away. He made a decision. He didn’t leave her wondering whether he’s going to call. She knew there and then that he was interested.

Alex is a real man. He doesn’t leave you hanging. Anyway, she changed it from Monday to Tuesday – she was busy. Something had come up. So Tuesday came, and Alex, under the impression they were hanging out went to meet her. He got a text 10 minutes before they were due to meet saying, “I just got out a yoga class and I really can’t make it tonight. Sorry.”

What selfish, arrogant behavior. She’d already moved the date once, and now she was cancelling 10 minutes before they were meeting.

Here’s the deal, if you’re on the fence about someone, don’t agree to go out with them. Be honest from the start. Don’t say yes to the date. Don’t flake at the last minute. It’s rude. How would you like it if a guy did it to you?

There’s this prevailing mentality that for some reason we don’t need to respect each other. We flake on each other all the time, and to be blunt, it’s shitty. It’s something that I think no one should ever do. Yet it happens nonstop. We’re constantly flaking on each other. We put things off because something better comes up. In reality, what better things come up?  If you’re going to commit to date somebody, then commit.

It says a lot about who you are as a person when you’re flaking on somebody. It tells us a lot about you when you’re canceling at the last minute.  Don’t say yes.  People get angry and annoyed.  It is happening more and more. I’ve written about this 10,000 times – these days we have a paradox of choice.

This illusion that there are so many options, when in reality there’s really not.

If you meet someone and you like them, commit to the hour to meet them. If it doesn’t work out after an hour, it’s only an hour. We all need to be with somebody. Flaking is unacceptable behavior that we’ve all learned to accept.  Stop being so busy with your narcissistic self-absorbed life, and start letting people in.  You never know who you may meet.