dating like a cheerleaderGo Green go!

Go Huskies go!

Your team is down by 40 points. The boys are rejecting you.  You’re 0-13 on the season. There you are in your high school cheerleader outfit, jumping up and down on the sidelines, looking at the crowd, trying to motivate them into the game. You look at one of the team members on the bench. You look at him and you smile and you say to yourself “If he could only get back in the game, I know we can win it”.

You jump up and down and say ‘Go green go. Go green go. Score that basket.”

You think that we could be good. Work a little harder, a little more dedication. You rally the fans. You’re a cheerleader. So how does this high school cheerleader relate to the way you’ve been dating your entire life?

Why do you seem to date men you’re always building up like ‘Go green go’?  It’s amazing. This is what’s so beautiful about women. You truly believe… and you’re willing to try anything. So when you meet a man, let’s say he’s 43 years old. He makes $50,000 a year. He’s never been very successful. He doesn’t like his career and had an idea for so long. He wants to open up a Children’s lollypop store. It’s unique because he’s able to write the name of a child on it. Every single lollypop. He wants to bring joy to kids.

You love it. Your heart melts. Being the woman that you are. Your brain is wired. You think he can do this. Why is he wasting his time? And you go into cheerleader mode. Go green go.  So now you’re in cheerleader mode. You listen to all his failures, all his business ideas, everything he’s ever failed at.  You listen to his lack of motivation.  But you truly believe. Like the cheerleader that stood on the sideline, even when the green team was down by 45 points.

You start building him up. You tell him the can do this. You start sending him articles on the Internet about entrepreneurs and how they’ve managed to take an idea and become wealthy. You tell him he should go to a seminar. You send him a free conference call from somebody who was down in the dumps at 45, and now is making $1M a year doing something similar. He continues to have excuses, you look at him and say, ‘Go green go’. 

You’re his cheerleader. The conversations continue. He makes one move, he feels good about it. You feel great, you’re cheering his work. He sticks with it for a few days. You see a change in him.  And then…

Green doesn’t go.  He falls back to his old patterns. You start getting frustrated. You cheer him on a little more but you start to think maybe green doesn’t want to go.  But you don’t want to give up on this guy.  You’re now a year into the relationship.  He’s really sweet, he’s really nice.  But you can’t seem to change him. And you’re starting to get frustrated. You sit down with other cheerleaders. Your group of friends. Half of them are still in it with you.  They believe they can help you motivate green. The other cheerleaders in the group are starting to doubt.  They’re starting to think maybe he’s just the loser he believes he is.

Maybe he’s really content at being where he’s at in life and there is nothing wrong with that. But you don’t want to give up because you’ve got a year of your life invested in this man. You’ve been sending him articles. You’ve been sending him videos. You’ve been talking to him for hours into the night. How dare you fail?  You don’t want to fail. ‘

Your ego is kicking in now. “Go green, go.” 

You Can’t Change Men!

You go home and there he is, sitting there in front of the TV. Watching TV, laughing, enjoying himself.  And you start to realize…

Maybe green doesn’t want to go. Maybe green is really very happy where they’re at, and you are not. How many times are you going to do that? How many times are you going to be the cheerleader for the wrong man?  That’s right, the wrong man.  If you’re in this situation now, time to give up.  You didn’t fail.  As a matter of fact, you learned a valuable lesson.  You can’t push a man to be what he doesn’t want to be.  You can’t change a man into something you want. He needs to make the changes himself.

No matter how amazing of a cheerleader you may be, you need to cheer for the right man, the right team.  Time to cheer for the blue team. The team that has a belief system in winning.  They believe that life is a journey. Life is a gift. Life is something worth taking and having and making the most of.  You need to be with the blue man.  The blue man is a man that will look at your cheerleading and see you as a muse. He will be inspired by the support.  He will go from being successful to more successful in all aspects of his life. He’ll teach you things; you’ll teach him things.

He’ll be inspired by you, at your cheerleading and sending links to articles, and seminars and actually do it. He’ll do it with you. He’ll share the moments with you as he is in need of his muse. Go, blue, go!