stop being victimYes, I’ve written about this so many times before, but it seems no matter how many times I say it, and no matter how many videos I give you, we still have a lot of victims running around. We still have a lot of women who won’t take responsibility for their relationships.

In any relationship, there’s a driver and a passenger. At times, you’ll be driving the car of the relationship, and other times you’ll be the passenger. I’m sure there have been times you’ve been driving your car, and someone cuts you off.

How many times did you want to scream at that person and give them the finger?

You don’t know what’s been happening in that person’s life. They might have had a horrific day, and they just made a mistake. We all make mistakes now and then in a car. We all make mistakes in our relationships too. You have to be responsible for yourself in your relationships. There are no victims. Nobody wronged you. Nobody hurt you. Nobody treated you like a fool. If any of those things happened to you in the relationship then you’re equally at fault.

There shouldn’t be any victims out there. The victim is a nice little story that people like to wrap their brains around. It’s great. You sit around with a bunch of your friends and you trash your ex. You come up with a neat little story about how he wronged you and about how he left you and didn’t want the same things as you. You talk about how wounded you are, and call him every name under the sun for damaging you.

It’s great for you have this story. It’s something for you to tell as you’re sitting around the campfire. The problem is it’s just a fable. It’s a story, and you’ve made yourself the victim of that story. The victim story is easy to grab onto because it gives you the opportunity to avoid responsibility for anything that happened in the relationship.

The true power of a relationship is for you to take a lot of the blame yourself.  That’s the beauty of every relationship.  Every relationship enables you to learn a lesson.  Beautiful lessons that you needed to learn.  If you’re constantly creating the victim story, what happens is you’re not learning anything about how to have a deep loving relationship.  It means the relationship that you created the victim story around was a total waste of time.

Every relationship is presented to you so you can learn lessons.  But if you’re wrapping the victim story around the relationship, then you don’t learn the lesson.  Then you go into the next relationship and you’re going to have a new victim story.

You’re going to have a neat little story again, about how you’re the victim in all of this.  If you think about it, the only thing that ever really remains the same is you.  So, stop being a victim. You need to take full responsibility for everything that goes wrong in any relationship. You’re a 50/50 partner in every relationship that you’ve ever been in. You are not perfect. Take full responsibility for your mistakes, and learn from them. You have to get over him.

It’s time to lose the victim poor me mentality, and start to embrace every single relationship you’ve ever had.