Stop Approval Seeking By David Wygant

You know, not everybody in this world is that strong. Everybody is not the same, but there is one group of people out there that drive everyone else up the wall: the approval seekers.

You approval seekers always want something from everybody. You tend to be looking to everybody else for approval and validation. Every job you do, everything you do – you always want validation from others. You always seek validation. This is needy behavior.

Men do it, women do it, children do it, dogs do it – that’s what a dog is! A dog is needy. Cats don’t do it, but that’s because they are just obnoxious. But dogs do.

But the key thing here is that you really need to be able to validate YOURSELF. You need to start working on yourself and making yourself happy. You need to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “wow, I made myself really happy today! I did a great job.”

Khiem, you had something to say about that and it was really interesting. When someone gets really needy and they’re seeking other people’s approval, you had them do a specific exercise. What was that exercise?

Khiem: If you are a needy person, you should sit alone for ten minutes and see if you can hold it. Do not read, do not fidget, do not move, do not talk, do not check your email, do not do anything. See how long you can stay like this and be calm.

If you can’t hold that for ten minutes, then you should practice this exercise every day!

In truth, people who are needy are always looking for the external stimuli that will make them feel better. In the end, external stimuli will never make you feel better because it’s changing all the time! The only constant is you.

David: I think Tony has something to say. Once again, Tony is the words behind the website, that is ALMOST finished, right, Tony?

Tony: I think one of the most important things is to always examine whatever are your deep or underlying intentions for doing something. I think many times we do things that we tell ourselves we are doing for a certain reason – we want a job, we want to help somebody, we want to do something positive – but underlying is some kind of validation or approval-seeking.

We’re unaware of it, and the moment we can become aware of it, whether it’s at work, or in a relationship – then you can stop for a second and this is where Khiem’s exercise really comes in. You can just stop, and say, “would I do this apart from the validation, apart from getting approval from that person?”

If you can’t say yes to these questions, then you need to stop what you are doing and continue to examine everything. You can systematically weed out much of your neediness and approval seeking over time.

When you cut that out, you naturally start to validate yourself and you become more confident. It’s like a leak in a ship – when you put the plugs in the holes, you are able to fill yourself up.

David: That was actually quite well said! I told you that Tony is good with words. The site would not be the same without Tony. So once again, thank Tony for the words on the site, and the words of wisdom here. Those were good!

Todays video is part 3 of How to become a natural with women and lose all the routines and pickup lines.

I also go over all of this in depth in my mens mastery series which is now almost 12 hours…we just added a few new parts that are not on the website but you will get them as a bonus when you order.
Click here for that.