hes not into you david wygantIt sounds like a cliche doesn’t it?

He’s not into you!

But it’s so true.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

It should because I get a bunch of emails about it every day. Boy meets girl. They go on a date. It takes a month for them to see each other again. Boy comes on to girl. Girl sleeps with boy. It takes another month until they see each other again. Girl starts to freak out. The whole thing falls apart. There are so many people out there chasing ghosts. That’s right. If you’re chasing a guy who isn’t keeping in contact with you, you’re chasing nothing but a ghost.

When you chase ghosts all you’re going to get is a ghostly hug. Imagine trying to hug Casper the friendly ghost. Your hands go right through him. Imagine trying to kiss a ghost. Imagine trying to pin down a ghost. It’s impossible, but a lot of women spend their lives dating these ghosts. So what are these men actually doing? What is the reason for their behavior? Why do men go cold like this?

The normal excuses go something like…

“I’m busy at work. I’ve been stuck working on a project. I have to go away for business.”

It’s normally work-related, or maybe they’re a divorced dad and they’ll come up with kid based excuses. When they see you after a month of not seeing you, the only reason they’re there is because they’ve exhausted all their other options. They look through their phone one night and think, “Oh I haven’t seen X in a while. She was kind of cool. I have nothing else going on. Maybe I’ll take her out again. Maybe I’ll get some sex.”

You become his maybe girl. That’s right. You’re the person he MAYBE wants to see now and then. You’re the person he MAYBE wants to hang out with sometimes. You’re not his number 1. He’s not really into you. You’re just the backup girl. 

If a man is into you, he’ll find a way to see you. We’re going to find a way to keep communication going. We’re going to text you. We’re going to set up plans to see you. Any excuses we give for not seeing you are genuine. When we see you, it’s obvious how happy we are to see you. We’ll connect with you. We’ll keep the momentum going. That’s what men do when they’re interested in a woman.

If you’re chasing a man who messes you around and plays games, you’re wasting your time. He’s never going to give you what you need or deserve. Go and find a man that deserves you. Find a man who wants to be with you, and someone that has the skills to follow up. Remember, the months you waste chasing a man who isn’t into you, are months of your life you’ll never get back. PLEASE think about that the next time you stare longingly at your phone waiting for him to call.