Can you successfully date someone you work with?

That’s the question Jon wants the answer to in today’s “Dear David.”

As always, here’s the email he sent me, followed by my reply.

“Dear David,

I started a new job about three months ago. It’s a great job and there’s a good chance I could get promotion if things go well. So, here’s my question. There’s a girl working in my office, and she’s HOT!

The trouble is she’s started showing signs she’s interested in me too. I really want to ask her on a date, but I get the feeling the boss doesn’t like people who work together dating. Do you think relationships with people you work with can be successful, or am I asking for trouble?

I’d thought about just seeing her “casually” if she was interested, but I don’t want to upset her and then cause myself problems. What do you think?”

David Says…

Hi Jon,

You know I’d love to open this one up to the rest of our readers to hear their thoughts and experiences. For me, dating someone you work with can be dangerous. You sound like you like your job and could build a decent career from it. Do you really want to risk all that for a woman?

See here’s the thing…

Let’s say you start dating this girl. To start with, things are going well. You get on great, you’re having fun, and the sex is amazing. Then something goes wrong. You realize she’s not for you, or you just don’t click, things could get very uncomfortable at work.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard from men and women, who broke up with a work colleague and ended up leaving their job because it became too hard to work together. If you were really unlucky this girl could be completely nuts, and could try and get you fired if things didn’t work out between you.

The other reason I’d avoid dating people I work with, is you end up spending too much time together. If you’re with someone day and night it can be too much. You need time away from each other, and that can be hard if you work together and date.

Sure, some people work together, date, and get on amazingly. In fact, I know one couple who even ended up married. BUT, from experience those situations are the exception not the rule. You need to decide how important the job is to you.

How upset would you be if you lost your job over this girl?

If the job means more to you than she does, I’d take that as your answer. Hope that helps!

And guys and gals, any personal thoughts or experiences to add?