You just met a girl you really like.  Just as you reach the stage of intimacy she drops a bombshell…

She admits she was raped and molested. What do you say? How do you talk? How do you make her feel? How does it affect you sexually?

This is an interesting topic, and sadly there are a lot of women out there who have been raped. It’s an experience that leaves a scar, regardless of whether it was a date rape or abuse as a child.

If a woman admits this to you she’s telling you one thing. She feels safe to let go of all her fears with you. She feels safe with you, and it’s something you need to think very carefully about.

If a woman reveals very personal secrets to you she’s telling you she actually trusts you. She’s telling you she believes in you, feels you, and wants to get closer to you.

You should take this as a major compliment. This isn’t the time to judge her. You should never judge somebody for their past. You should listen to every word she says, and talk to her with compassion. If a woman tells you something like this you’ve got to open your heart.  Let her in, show her you understand, and be a strong confident shoulder for her.

It’s great she confessed, confided, and trusted you.  Talk to her; ask her how it still affects her. Ask her how she feels. Ask her if she got counseling for it. Ask her why she told you. She’s probably telling you to build trust, and to build greater intimacy. The chances are she probably wants to connect, let go sexually, and be free again.

It’s a sign you’re in the progressive stages of a fantastic relationship. So don’t be afraid to deal with a woman telling you she was raped. Just open your mind, your heart, and take it as a huge compliment.

It’s taken her an amazing amount of strength and bravery to discuss.

Have you ever experienced this kind of situation?

I’d love to hear how you dealt with it.