Falling in love with a friend. It’s something I hear about all the time. But what’s the right thing to do about it?

Should you say nothing and suffer in silence, or bring it out in the open and tell her how you feel?

Here’s an email I had from Bradley on Monday…

“Dear David,

I’ve been best friends with this girl for about a year now. We spend lots of time together hanging out, and doing all the normal things friends do. But sometimes say we’re watching a film or something, she’ll want to cuddle up. Other times if we’re out in a bar and a slow song comes on she’ll want to dance with me.

There’s nothing too sexual about that, but she often does this puppy dog eyes thing like she’s flirting with me. The trouble is I’m starting to fall for her. I’ve always been a little attracted to her but now I’m getting feelings and I don’t know what to do.

Is she giving me mixed signals or am I reading it wrong?

I’m worried that if I tell her how I feel I’ll lose her as a friend, but at the same time I hate having to pretend I don’t care about her. Any advice for me? “

David Says…

Hey Bradley,

Well, this is one I’ve dealt with thousands of times before, so you’re not alone. You know what I always tell guys in your situation?

You sit the girl down and tell her exactly what you told me. Just be firm and direct about it. Like I always tell you, own your words. No being weak about it. Ask her outright, “I feel like I’m getting mixed signals from you. What’s really going on here?”

Make sure you’re clear your friendship is important to you, and you’re not going to be weird with her about it, but you just need to know where you stand. She’ll respect you for being open about things, and Bradley, who knows; maybe she feels the same about you and is scared to talk about it.

If she’s the great friend you think she is she’s going to be fine having this conversation with you. Just reassure her you’re fine being friends, and nothing is going to affect that.  You need to get this off your chest or it’s going to end up driving you nuts.

The only thing women don’t want is a male friend who’s going to follow them round like a lovesick puppy all the time. You need to get this off your chest or it’s going to end up driving you nuts.  Hope that helps, and let us know how ya get on.

So what about the rest of you?

Have you ever fallen in love with a friend, and what did you do about it? Did it blossom into romance? And how did it change your friendship?