Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
The other night, I went out with someone I met on a dating app.
And her pictures were nothing like she was in person.
The pictures were from a land far, far away in a time long, long ago.
She was a lot thinner in her pictures.
She wasn’t a heavy girl by any means.
She actually had a beautiful body and a beautiful face.
But she wasn’t the body type that I really like.
And that’s okay.
She was smart.
She was a great mother.
She had a great career.
She was a spectacular woman. We sat down for a cup of tea and talked and enjoyed each others company.
She was probably five or six years older than most of her pictures.
Which is okay.
She was probably 30 pounds heavier, which is okay.
But I like a certain type of woman and a certain type of body type. It’s what I’m attracted to.
I can’t change that. No matter how great somebody is, there’s just a certain package that I like. And there are a ton of women that look like that. There are a ton of women that have great careers, great moms, great everything that are like that.
It’s what I call having an abundant mindset about dating.
We talked and I literally told her at the end: “Don’t misrepresent yourself with your pictures.”
When you misrepresent yourself, it just paints a whole different picture, but it runs even deeper than the photos.
What other ways are they going to who they are?
You see, we doctor so many things through Photoshop.
Through color changes.
To make ourselves look and be what we’re not.
We put pictures up of ways we used to be.
That, to me, tells me something deeper.
What else are they going to be misrepresenting themselves about?
I’ve been with women who are masters at misrepresenting themselves.
They can’t look in the mirror and see exactly who they are. And ladies, don’t get bent out of shape because there are a ton of men who misrepresent themselves as well.
We can change it so that there are a ton of misrepresented people out there in the world, pretending to be evolved.
Pretending to be things that they’re not.
There’s someone in my life that I’m friends with that when I try to call them out on something, they’re the ultimate twister and turner and don’t even see their actions at all.
Their version and their story of themselves is like a Disney fantasy movie, or better yet, I call them the Aesop’s fables.
Whenever they throw a statement out there that is so out there, so not connected to who they are, I don’t engage it at all anymore.
Why should I bother? It’s not my job to get them to know themselves better. It’s not my job to get them to be more self-aware at all.
So you see, on a very unconscious level, what misrepresenting yourself from the get-go on a dating app with your pictures can really signify about how you live and run your life.
I know lots of people that do it. There’s people in business who do it.
They’ve been in business a year or two, and they think they know everything.
They think they’re the best marketers, advertisers, bankers, whatever it might be.
But in reality, they’ve got so much to learn. Doesn’t mean that they’re not going to be the best at what they do, a doctor, lawyer, whatever it might be. No.
It means that they need to get clear with who they really are, and really embrace the lessons that present themselves because personal arrogance and misrepresentation of who you are is a huge turn off for all of us in the dating and business world.
So think about the little lies you tell yourself, including the pictures you put online. And realize the little lies lead to connections that won’t happen, because in reality, you are already amazing exactly where you are, 30 pounds heavier, 10 inches shorter, whatever it might be.
There are plenty of people out there who are going to think you rock.
Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
3 Comments | Join the Discussion!
Vonnie
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017
Chrissie
Thursday, March 23rd, 2017
Me
Monday, September 17th, 2018