Traci-Dinwiddie-Body-ShotSo recently, I put up a profile on Ok Cupid as a social experiment to see what’s going on in the world of online dating.

I’ve had a lot of women contact me. (I must have a great profile. Either that or it’s my adorable smile.)

But you know what’s funny? A lot of women with no profile picture will contact me.

So, me, doing the social experiment that I am, would talk to them for a little bit, and then ask them for a picture.

These women will send pictures that are plain ridiculous.

One woman sent me a picture that was a shot from the side of her head while she looked up. I was thinking, “Was she looking at birds in the sky or did she see an airplane?” That’s it, it’s just a head tilted upwards.

Hello, ladies! Wake up.

We’re visual. We want to see everything.

We want to see your head facing directly towards us so we can see the color of your eyes.

We want to see what your body looks like.

We want to see your smile.

We want to see you.

If you don’t show us everything, we think you’re hiding something.

Do not put up artsy pictures. Artsy pictures are a waste of time. They’re kind of ridiculous, these artsy pictures. If you shot from 16 different angles, blurred to one side.

We don’t want to see pictures of your doggy. We think your dog is cute, but we want to see you.

We don’t want to see you and your friends drinking booze, we would think you’re an alcoholic.

Five pictures of you and who you are—that’s all we need. I know I’ve written about this before, but I’m going to write about it again, and again, and again until you get it right.

You’re trying to attract the man.

You want to get us excited.

Show us who you are. Stop being so coy. Being coy doesn’t get the boy.

Being coy gets nothing.

Once again: no pictures from a distance.

I’ve written this before and I’ll say it again: we’re not eagles in the sky and we can’t see you from that far away.

No pictures of you on a skateboard or showing how athletic you are. We don’t care.

All we care about is you. The women who get the most male response online are the women that—guess what—show off who they are and what they’re working with.

Express yourself honestly and show yourself off.