You know when you sit next to a stranger what you do? For me, I just spout out the name of every person, celebrity and client I’ve ever known. I just talk at that stranger, and tell him or her what a big shot I am. Oops, that’s not me. That’s the person behind me.

Actually on that same flight to Toronto last week, I sat right next to John McEnroe, and I did nothing about it.

So I get on the plane, and I’m sitting in front of Mr. Name Dropper. This guy sat down. Another guy sat down next to him in the seat, and for the next 15 minutes before we took off, the guy proceeded to name drop. “Randy Jackson is his good friend.” Steven Tyler: he’s not sure is going to re-up for American Idol.

“Did I tell you about my girlfriend, she’s much younger than me?” “My girlfriend who’s much younger than me.” He said it like five or six times to the poor guy sitting next to him. He talked about his days when he used to write music and manage all these different people. He must have dropped 70 names in the span of 15 minutes.

Are You Dating A Name Dropper?

So I turned around and pretended to be interested. And then I did the old trick when you were a little kid: “Psych!” I looked directly at him, and looked down, and didn’t even acknowledge him at all. And of course when the plane landed, I didn’t realize John McEnroe was sitting next to me—across from me actually.

Mr. Name Dropper then looked at John and goes “John, how you doing?” John goes great. He goes what are you in Toronto for. Mr. Name Dropper said, “Ah, the old guys are playing tennis. Man, I love the old guys. Did I tell you about how I had lunch with Agassi one time?”

He name dropped McEnroe!

Name droppers are hilarious. Who cares who you know? Who cares who you’re friends with? Who cares if you have a younger girlfriend? Why do people feel the need to torture total strangers with useless information? Are we supposed to walk away impressed? Are we supposed to get off that plane and go, “Oh my God, I sat next to a guy who’s friends with Randy Jackson?” Who cares?

I sat next to a man who had really bad breath, and didn’t speak one word, and had five drinks. Is he friends with the Heineken company? Does he know the owner of Jack Daniels? Because apparently the way he was drinking it seemed like he was best friends with them.

If you’re a namedropper, impress with who you are and not who you know.