I got out of the shower this morning.

And I tried to start drying myself off. It was a typical morning. No different than any other morning when a man gets out of the shower and dries himself off. I looked down at my penis — I’ve seen my penis many times in my life — and I realized it was time to trim back the pubes. But wait a second, what is that nestled in the pubes?

Oh my god.

I found my first gray pubic hair.

I was thinking to myself, now that I have a gray pubic hair, according to what people say, gray hair means you’re distinguished.

Well, maybe gray hair on the top of the head, and women say all the time, god I love a man with gray hair, it’s so sexy, it makes them so distinguished.

So a thought crossed my mind.

Does this make my penis more distinguished? Huh?

I have a distinguished penis. I’ve used the words over and over again to start to embrace it.

I looked at my penis, it looked exactly the same to me as it had every other day. Except now, it is distinguished. So instead of plucking the gray hair I just kind of left it. I figured the next woman that I’m with will honor my penis more than ever before. My penis will be sexier to her.

My penis will be wiser.

My penis will be, well, distinguished. It’s amazing when you age how you can trick your mind into so many different things. And it’s amazing how a penis, that used to be a thing that just hung from a body, is now not just a regular penis, but a distinguished penis. I’d like to know your thoughts on this, if you have any at all.

Or, if you think I am just out of my mind and my penis is still just a penis. I kind of feel good about thinking it’s distinguished. My penis is feeling more secure today than ever before, because finally my penis is a distinguished penis of all the penises.