About a week ago I wrote a blog in which I posted an ad from Craigslist. Here is the link in case you missed it:. The ad was written by a 58 year old man who was seeking a woman in her 20’s with whom he could fall in love and live a fantasy life. (Of course, it might be more of a fantasy for him than for her).

It’s an interesting thing because after mentioning his ad, what I really wrote about in the blog was that a man who chases women 40 years his junior is chasing a fantasy, a dream and an illusion. Women who have just graduated from college after having a great experience sleeping with good-looking guys their own age don’t generally go out in the world and all of a sudden crave significantly older men.

They don’t go out into the real world and all of a sudden have this feeling. They don’t think, “You know, I just want an older guy. I really do, because all of a sudden I’m more attracted to the way an older guy looks. I’ve got this Sean Connery and Michael Douglas fetish.”

When it does happen, do you know why that fetish happens? It’s because a lot of women are OC – old curious. They know why they’re curious — they’ve tried dating a lot of the guys their own age and have discovered that men in their early 20’s tend to be a little more emotionally immature and not financially stable. A lot of them don’t even know how to totally please a woman sexually.

So the women becomes a little curious about the ‘debonair guy.’ She wants to really learn about it. She will think, “Maybe I can have a relationship with an older guy.”

Here’s what happens though. It doesn’t work. 99% of the time, it’s just a curiosity that doesn’t work in the real world at all.

It’s funny. One 62 year old gentleman wrote a comment on that blog — a very angry comment. He says in part, “Let me tell you, I have had plenty of 20 something women hit on me and I’m 62, they can’t believe my age, I have to pull out my I.D.. My last three gfs were 15 years yonger than me.”

If you look at his comment, he posted anonymously. You know, if you’re going to post anonymously on the blog and you’re going to challenge me, at least put your email address in so you can get all the comments posted afterwards.

I’m not here to have all of you kiss my ass. I actually really enjoy being challenged. I like it. I don’t want people just to kiss my ass, tell me how great the blog is and letting me know they are just going to follow all of my advice to a ‘T.’

Of course I love it when people really like what I write, but I also like when people don’t love what I write and challenge me on it (and even maybe bring a different perspective to things). That’s how you grow in life.

You don’t grow in life by always thinking you’re 100% right. So when Mr. Anonymous posted his comment, it really stuck out because he wasn’t challenging me on what I said but instead was reacting to what he PERCEIVED I was saying.

First, he stated in his post that I am a hypocrite and no longer “cool.” I mean, this man is about 60 years old and is talking about me being cool?

He also stated that he “…sent it to friends who I have formerly told you were cool. You just lost about $5,000 in business. Karma’s a bitch.” So all of his friends are no longer going to order because I’m a hypocrite?

It’s funny, because if he actually read the blog word for word, he would realize that I was talking about the communication and true connection difficulties of a 58 year old man seeking out 22 year old women. In his comment he writes that he dates women sixteen years his junior all the time. If my math is correct, though, that would mean he (a 62 year old man) is dating 46 year old women all the time (not 22 year old women).

He has totally missed the point. I never said that a 62 year old couldn’t date a 46 year old, and I never said that you can’t connect with someone younger than you — even a decade or more younger than you. Hell, my wife is thirteen years younger than me. I didn’t even know that when I first met her. I figured she might be ten years younger.

Who cares? We got along, we were in the same type of generation (she was over the age of 30 and had a lot of life experience) and we had a connection.

So this guy decides to write that at age 62 he is dating women sixteen years younger. So he’s dating women in their mid-40’s. We’re not even close to women in their 20’s.

Not once did I ever say that 60 year old men shouldn’t date 45 year old women. To be honest, those two ages dating would be pretty simple and easy.

A 45 year old woman is twice the age of a 22 year old woman. She has life experience, relationship experience, responsibilities and probably has had a family. So dating a guy who is 60 years old is not much of a stretch.

It’s actually a pretty cool thing to do. A friend of mine who is 38 is married to a woman who is 53 years old. They have a ton in common, a lot of life experience and a lot of love between the two of them. So fifteen years is not really a stretch.

It’s amazing to see how people defend their actions, and this guy who commented on the blog defended his actions anonymously. I think that is kinda wimpy, and using his words I no longer think he is cool.

He also based his comments on just skimming the blog. It is clear from his comments that he didn’t read the whole blog before writing his comment. Like I said, if you are going to react to something in my blog, please at least read the whole blog first.

The problem and what happens to people is that they go into defensive mode based on criticisms they have received in their own life. I’m sure when he was out being 60 and looking at 22-year-olds, that one of his friends probably said to him that he has nothing in common with those young girls. I’m sure he being a typical male, he probably said, “What are you talking about? They’re hot and they want want me…” You know, the typical male egotistical fantasy.

I’m sure people have criticized him. I’m sure when he goes out in public with these very young early 20’s women, that he sees people looking at him and whispering “Wow, that couple doesn’t really match.” I’m sure he’s had the father/daughter questions come up. His is his own Achilles heel.

So that’s why he exploded the way that he exploded in response to this blog. It’s because that is what happens when we skim something — we only relate the part of the piece that we’ve experienced in our own life (usually criticisms we have had in our own life).

That’s why we become so raw when we read certain things. We read only what we interpret and what we’ve experienced. It is very apparent based on his comment to that blog, that is what was going on with this guy.

Unfortunately for him, he was not as cruel of a man as he intended to be. He didn’t even bother putting his email address in to allow me to make a comment back. All he did was sneak a comment in anonymously. He was not really ready for a debate.

A debate would have made him look at things a little differently. Maybe it would have made him grow a little bit more because I would have challenged him. That is what life is all about — being challenged. Life is about being open to new experiences and learning from them.

Once again, if you look at the original blog you will see that not once did I say that a 60 year old man shouldn’t date a 45 year old woman. Come on, folks… If you’re going to read the blog, then read the whole blog. Read the whole thing and get the whole point before you spew.

Don’t just read and react based on criticisms in your own personal life. I can read through that. You see, I’m 48 and I can read through that.

I never read through that in my twenties because I didn’t have enough life experience. Now being older and wiser, though, I can read through all the bullshit right away and I smell it.