I woke up this morning and realized, “Oh my God, it’s Christmas!” Living in Los Angeles, the land of zero Christmas Spirit, you could literally go into a hundred stores and see a total of three Christmas decorations.

I get so fed up with Los Angeles at times that I have to escape. This year I went to New Orleans, and they are loaded with Christmas spirit.

After having been kicked by Katrina and Bush, this town has a spirit no one can break. New Orleans is a city full of people who are passionate about their culture, their history and, unfortunately, about the fattiest foods I’ve ever eaten.

So today being Christmas Day, I want you to take the time to reflect on everything about which you are passionate and on everything that is amazing in your life. Don’t send out any of those lame mass Merry Christmas texts to everyone in your phone.

It really shows you to be a lazy ass. Plus, do you really care about everyone in your phone? C’mon!

Instead, wish the people you care about a very Merry Christmas. Don’t be lazy and wish everyone a Merry Christmas — there’s no meaning behind that.

I hate when I get those Merry Christmas mass texts. Really, you were thinking about me today? What were you thinking? You were thinking that you were being 2009 Cybercool? Gee, maybe I should send a mass text instead of picking up the phone and getting in touch with the people about whom I really care.

Christmas is a great time to reconnect and really put the past behind you. Is there anyone in your life right now with whom you wish things were better? Are you holding a grudge? Are you not talking to a brother (or a sister or an old friend or even your parents)?

This is a great day to pick up the phone and reconnect, and to put the past behind you. It’s all about picking up the phone today.

It’s not about sending out an email, a text or making a lame announcement on Facebook saying “Merry Christmas to everybody!” If you are thinking about doing one of these things, why don’t you write “Merry Christmas to everyone because I’m too damn lazy to pick up the phone and really get in touch with the people I care about!”

So I hope you have an incredible Christmas. I hope it’s a great day even when I rant and rave in this blog about mass texts at the same time that I’m sending out a mass blog.

When I get done writing this, though, I am getting on the phone and calling my Mom, my sister, my brother and a few of my closest friends, and I’m going to wish them the best best Christmas they can possibly have.

By the way, if you’re not celebrating Christmas, do what the New York Jews do/ We used to go as a family and see a movie on Christmas day. It’s fun, and it’s packed full of people who may not celebrate Christmas but still have the holiday spirit.

You know us Jewish people. We’ll take everyone’s holidays. We don’t get enough during the eight days of Hannukah. We want to take Christmas and Easter too. We’ll take ’em all!