Men Love That New Car Smell

I was at a party tonight. I seem to go to a lot of parties. That’s livin’ in Los Angeles, right? So, I was at a party tonight overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and it felt like I was in the Mediterranean. I ended up speaking with this woman at the end of the night. And it was really funny, I think, how toward the end of the night when everyone’s a little more buzzed the conversations get a little more interesting and a little freer.

We talked for about ten minutes basically about cars. Yesterday my car’s “check engine” light went on, which we all know really means “ignore the check engine light as long as you possibly can.” The air conditioner broke yesterday too . . . and this car is only eleven months old. It’s under warranty and the air conditioner breaking is certainly something that you don’t expect, but no big deal.

So I woke up this morning and drove to the valley, and then while I was driving back the car decided to start pouring black smoke out of its ass. It then basically died on the 405, traveled across five lanes of traffic, glided down a hill, and made the light in front of my building for the first time ever. I then left it at a bus stop until Saab picked it up.

After telling this woman at the party this story, I proceeded to tell her “I’ve been having this love/hate relationship with my car. I just haven’t really wanted my car recently. Do you think my car realized this today and decided to quit on me? You know, maybe the engine decided to give out all of a sudden because it wasn’t feeling my love?”

She and I started talking in car lingo back and forth, and I told her “You know, I get that way with cars.” I then went on to explain:

First I want the car, I desire the car, I take the car for a test drive . . . and then I’m just not sure I want the car anymore. What happens next is I go back a few weeks later, the car and I see each other again, we flirt, I get in and feel the leather seats, and I drive the car around.

Then once again it’s like I’m not sure if I want the car. Two weeks later I go back to the dealership, and the dealer tells me that the car has been sold. All of a sudden I leave that dealership and the car drives by me, winks at me with its headlights, and like a typical guy what do I want? I want the car.

We began talking about how this analogy is so much like the way men think about women. I have a woman (like I have this car), and even though there is 16 months left on the 28 months lease, I don’t want it anymore because I like the new car smell (just like I like new woman smell).

You know, I really enjoy new women in my life. I really enjoy experiencing different women, and experiencing different types of women. It’s the person that I’ve always been. So making this analogy to cars was definitely a new and fascinating thing: What happens is that I don’t want my car anymore . . . I’m onto the next car.

This woman and I were laughing so much because this analogy is so perfect. So many men out there go through this same process: they get cars, they love the car, they don’t want the car anymore, then they want the next car.

Or what happens is this: a guy’s friend gets the car, he brags about the car, the guy wants his friend’s car, the friend sells the car, and the guy buys the car because he wants it now that his friend no longer does.

The guy will then drive the car for a while, until he realized he doesn’t want the car, and he puts it up for sale on autotrader.com (which is no different than match.com if you think about it because everyone is a “used car” on match.com . . . you’re trying to get the people with low mileage and not too many hidden engine problems).

Men treat their cars the way they treat their women. A lot of men feel women are very disposable. A lot of men are always chasing bigger, better, faster women . . . like they chase bigger, better, faster cars.

So we continued to speak in this analogy back and forth. It was really fascinating because we were just having this intense fun connection in a very different way, and speaking a language we both understood.

This woman also described the kind of guy who seduces and romances a car. You know, he goes and he pays cash for this really expensive car. Then all of a sudden he doesn’t want the car three weeks later and sells it for a loss.

He’s the same type of man who finds a really beautiful woman whom he wants romance and take to Europe the first week they’re dating. He buys her a new wardrobe and other expensive gifts, and then three weeks later when he’s sick of his new toy and doesn’t want to be with her anymore, he begins looking for the next woman.

Then there’s the guy who drives the same car for ten years. He complains about it on a regular basis. He doesn’t like this car anymore. He’s not into the car anymore. He’d really like to get a new car. He even drives his friends’ cars or sneaks away and goes to a dealership to drive another car just so he can get off at the feeling of having another car.

Well, this is no different than the guy who’s in a marriage or a relationship where he’s really bored and doesn’t want to be in it anymore. So what happens is he ends up trying out other women. He flirts with other women in a bar, but doesn’t do anything . . . so in turn he sneaks behind his woman’s back, and he goes to a rub ‘n tug place to get a hand job from some beautiful, sexy, Asian happy-ending masseuse. This is what this type of guy is like.

Finally, you’ve got the guy who does a lease, and it’s all a business transaction. He thinks: “I’m going to be in this car for four years, I’m going to amitorize the whole thing, and I’m going to get my money out.” This is the guy who basically looks at a woman like a partner . . . but more as a union and not on a deep level.

With this mindset, he’s the guy who thinks: “We’re going to go get married, spit out some kids together, have a really good time, and we’re going to build a future together.” Everything is so cut and dried. This is the type of guy who buys one lease after another, but the leases are very practical because his life is very practical.

So think about what type of car you are. What type of driver are you? Are you the type of guy that keeps things around for a long time, or are you the guy who is always craving new cars? Take a look at your life, and see if the kind of guy you are in how you choose and treat your cars, is the same kind of guy you are in your dating life . . . and in the way you chase women.
For those of you that want to hear more about this I will be uploading a new podcast on this today. You can find that right below my blog on my home page.