Managing Your Inner Loser

Here he comes.

Your best friend.

Your inner loser.

You love him.

He’s f*cking great.

You and he have been buddies for a long, long time. You know when your inner loser comes out, because the first thing he says to you is, “Hey loser.”

You’ll be hanging out with friends, you make a joke… and no one laughs. Your inner loser is right there to keep you company. Great job, loser. He is the most annoying person you’ve ever met. You were just having a good night, and then he comes, dressed, looking pretty good, but he’s not feeling good. He starts beating you up left and right.

So you say to yourself “Shut the f*ck up. Shut up inner loser.”

The inner loser makes you take a time out. You’ll be in a room full of people, and you’ll think to yourself, “Everybody thinks I’m a loser. I can’t believe I said something so stupid.”

You get quiet, you go deep into yourself…

Sometimes you take a break, or you have a shot of alcohol or what ever your drug of choice is. You go back to the party. You’ve regained your confidence. You start to say something, and right when you’re about to speak, somebody else talks over you and your words disappear.  Everybody else starts laughing, and you think they’re laughing at you, because that’s what the inner loser is telling you.

The inner loser is telling you they’re laughing at you.  Then you go back to the bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror. You go in front of a mirror in a public restroom and start talking to yourself, “Goddamnit, I’m going to do good.  Right now I’m going to go back out there and I’m going to f*cking kick ass, I’m going to talk to his hot chick.”

And the inner loser comes out with you.  And when you approach the hot chick, the words don’t come out of your mouth.  You start thinking that everybody hates you. Everybody thinks you’re a loser. Nobody’s thinking that. Actually people are thinking the same things, because most people walk around with their own inner losers.  Most people walk around thinking these thoughts on their own.

They get insecure…

They get nervous…

They get paranoid….

But your inner loser’s so strong and all it takes is this one thing — you could be feeling so f*cking good, one thing will trigger him. And the minute he comes in, it’s over. It sucks. You start freaking out. See that inner loser comes up a lot.  And the reason why it comes up is because you’re constantly comparing yourself to other people. You’re constantly thinking other people are critiquing you or criticizing you, when in reality, the only person criticizing you is you.

These other people, the ones you think are better than you, or funnier than you, or better looking than you, whatever it might be at that moment, have their own inner loser. These people are dealing with their own shit, they’re working on their own social inadequacies, they’re working on their own insecurities, they’re working on their own fears and their inner loser.

If the bathroom mirrors could talk in public restrooms, do you know how many people have exposed their inner loser?

Think about that. Think about if there were a microphone in a public restroom. Think about what that recording would say. It’d be hilarious. As a matter of fact, you should pitch this as a reality TV show. You could call it The Inner Loser.

It’s just a recording of all the people coming into a public bathroom, beating themselves up yelling, screaming, getting ticked off at themselves, thinking other people are critiquing them, or some girl doesn’t like them. If you say something to a girl and she doesn’t respond the way you thought she should have, immediately your inner loser goes “You loser, she doesn’t like you.”  

The inner loser creates stories inside your head. He is the greatest storyteller you’ve ever met.  The problem with inner loser, is he’s one of the most convincing people and he takes his job seriously. How do you get rid of a stubborn inner loser?

How to do you get him to listen to anything to you say?

The minute you hear him, you tell yourself:

“Shut the f*ck up. I’m allowed to have a moment.  I’m allowed to say something people aren’t going to like. I can’t be on all the time, I can’t make people like me all the time. I have to roll with life. I have to take life exactly how it comes.  I have to allow life to happen.”

When you stop caring about the inner loser, he starts to go away. He goes away because you don’t give him the attention anymore. It’s the only way to become a more confident and magnetic person.